Message-ID: <19109506.1075854703677.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 22 Mar 2000 02:38:00 -0800 (PST) From: eric.bass@enron.com To: shanna.husser@enron.com Subject: Re: THE MALE SPECIES Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Eric Bass X-To: Shanna Husser X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Eric_Bass_Dec2000\Notes Folders\Sent X-Origin: Bass-E X-FileName: ebass.nsf i'm getting really freaking tired of being last on your e-mail lists! Shanna Husser@ENRON 03/22/2000 09:36 AM To: mshuggies@aol.com, Joey Esperance/LON/ECT@ECT, christen.m.campbell@ac.com, blahbla187@aol.com, bcannizaro@shellus.com, Eric Bass/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: THE MALE SPECIES ---------------------- Forwarded by Shanna Husser/Corp/Enron on 03/22/2000 09:35 AM --------------------------- From: Mary Joseph 03/22/2000 09:30 AM To: Ann Sanchez/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Shanna Husser/Corp/Enron@Enron, Stacy Dunegan/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Amy Jon/HOU/ECT@ECT, Meg Malone/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Sherri Kathol/Corp/Enron@Enron cc: Subject: THE MALE SPECIES >> > > Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop >> the >> > >hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If >another >> > >man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to >fix >> > >these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I >wouldn't >> > >know where to start. We will then drink beer. >> > > ----------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me >soup >> > >and >> > >take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as >I >> do, >> > >so for you this isn't an issue. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries >at >> > >the >> > >store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items >like >> > >"Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know these are the same thing. And never, >> > >under >> > >any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine >> > >hygiene >> > >product" is a euphemism. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will >> insist >> > >on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice >as >> > >much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I >don't >> > >think >> > >we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete >> stranger >> > >- I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going? >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking >about. >> > >The >> > >answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up >> something >> > >else when you ask, so don't. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your >> > >mother >> > >come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any >more >> > >than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I >don't > >> > >need >> > >to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mommy, too! >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie... >> > > Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought >what >> > >you >> > >were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is >> fine. >> > >With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look >fine. >> > >Can we just go now? >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > Because I'm a man and this is, after all, a new century, I will >> > >share >> > >equally in >> > >the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, >the >> > >cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest. >> > > -------------------------------------------------------------------- >> > > This has been a Public Service Message for Women, to better >understand >> > >the >> > >Male Animal. >> > >