Message-ID: <3053043.1075849857360.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2001 09:08:00 -0800 (PST) From: patti.thompson@enron.com To: sally.beck@enron.com Subject: Personal Trainers Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Patti Thompson X-To: Sally Beck X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Sally_Beck_Nov2001\Notes Folders\Personal X-Origin: BECK-S X-FileName: sbeck.nsf Like you have time to read this... It is really funny. PT ---------------------- Forwarded by Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 05:05 PM --------------------------- Sue Foust 01/10/2001 03:43 PM To: Karen Snow/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle Bruce/HOU/ECT@ECT, Diane Ellstrom/HOU/ECT@ECT, Linda K Loukanis/HOU/ECT@ECT, Marilyn M Schoppe/HOU/ECT@ECT, Glenda D Mitchell/HOU/ECT@ECT, Joan Winfrey/HOU/ECT@ECT, Julie Flahaven/NA/Enron@Enron, Lisa Walker/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle Thomason/NA/Enron@Enron, Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: Personal Trainers ---------------------- Forwarded by Sue Foust/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 03:32 PM --------------------------- SHERRI SORRELS on 01/10/2001 12:38:20 PM To: Cyndi Alvarado cc: Dee Yocum , Lisa Murray , "Diane O'Brien" , SANDIE PIERCE , Mary Reed , Lisa Rudy , Jessica Sanders , Shelby Sanders , Crystal Schwartz , Jan Skoog , TERRI SMITH , Lori Sorrels , Sue Foust , Gabor Fuzesi , Cassie Gordon , Toni Gordon , Delores Harton , JULIE HUNT , Joni Krizay , LORI REYES , GINNY LYMAN , Joyce Lynn , Terri Maldonado , CRYSTAL CAMPSEY , Lydia Cannon , Jolie Carter , Juanita Carter , Karen Ener Subject: Fwd: Fw: REALLY CUTE > > This is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get > >> into a regular workout routine, (or use one of those Ab-Doer > machines > >> Dear Diary, > >> > >> For my fiftieth birthday this year, my husband (the dear) > purchased > a > >> week of personal training at the local health club for me. > Although I > >> am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball > team, I > >> decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. > >> I called the club and made my reservations with a personal > trainer > >> I'll call Bruce, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics > >> instructor and model for clothing and swimwear. My husband seemed > >> pleased > >> with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a > diary > >> to chart my progress. > >> Monday: > >> Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it > was > >> well > >> worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for > me. > >> He is something of a Greek God - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a > >> dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo! > >> Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my > pulse > >> after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse > was so > >> fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra > aerobic > >> outfit. > >> I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his > >> aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was > >> encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching > from > >> holding it in the whole time he was around. > >> This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! > >> > >> Tuesday: > >> I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the > door. > >> Bruce > >> made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then > he > >> put > >> weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I > made > >> the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. > >> I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me. > >> > >> Wednesday: > >> The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the > toothbrush on > >> the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I > have > >> a > >> hernia in both pectorals. > >> Driving was okay as long as I didn't' try to steer or stop. I > parked > >> on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with > me, > >> insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice > is a > >> little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he > gets > this > >> nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on > the > >> treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. > >> Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an > activity > >> rendered obsolete by elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get > in > >> shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too. > >> > >> Thursday: > >> Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as > his > >> thin, cruel lips were pulled back into a full snarl. I couldn't > help > >> being > >> a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce > took me > >> to work out with dumbbells. > >> When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He > sent > >> Lars > >> to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - > which I > >> sank. > >> > >> Friday: > >> I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has ever > hated > >> any > >> other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, > anemic > >> little cheerleader wanna-be bastard. If there were a part of my > body I > >> could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. > >> Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any > triceps! > >> And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the &@#$*~ > >> barbells > >> or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you > learned > >> in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude > from, > >> Bruce, you Nazi bastard). > >> The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and > nutrition > >> teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama > coach > >> or the choir director? > >> > >> Saturday: > >> Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, > >> shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing > him > >> made > >> me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked > the > >> strength even to use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven > straight > >> hours of the *$@#& Weather Channel. > >> > >> Sunday: > >> I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can > go > and > >> thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year > my > >> husband (the BASTARD) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a > root > >> canal or a hysterectomy. > >> > >> > > > >Suzanne Cox > >Tenor Networks > >6200 S. Syracuse Way, Suite 125 > >Greenwood Village, CO 80111 > >303 874-5153 > >303 874-5154 (fax) > > > __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! 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