Message-ID: <27585422.1075861471792.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 14:53:09 -0700 (PDT) From: nancy.sellers@robertmondavi.com To: eldon@direcpc.com, jabor@wt.net, cameron@perfect.com, jeff_dasovich@enron.com, psellers@haas.berkeley.edu, psellers@pacbell.net, scottwl@hotmail.com Subject: FW: Some new (some old) Yiddish Haiku (fwd) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Nancy Sellers X-To: 'Eldon Sellers' , 'Jane Boorman' , Cameron , Jeff Dasovich , Prentice @ Berkeley , Prentice Sellers , Scott Laughlin X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \JDASOVIC (Non-Privileged)\Dasovich, Jeff\Deleted Items X-Origin: Dasovich-J X-FileName: JDASOVIC (Non-Privileged).pst YIDDISH HAIKU (17 syllables) >> After the warm rain >> the sweet smell of camellias. >> Did you wipe your feet? > > >> Her lips near my ear; >> Aunt Sadie whispers the name >> of her friend's disease. > > >> Looking for pink buds >> to prune, the old moyel >> wanders among his flowers. > > >> Today I am a man. >> Tomorrow I will return >> to the seventh grade. > > >> Harsh Scrabble discord -- >> someone has placed "putzhead" on >> a triple word score. > > >> Testing the warm milk >> on her wrist, she sighs softly. >> But her son is forty. > > >> The sparkling blue sea >> reminds me to wait an hour >> after my sandwich. > > >> Tea ceremony -- >> fragrant steam perfumes the air. >> Try the cheese danish. > >> Lacking fins or tail >> the gefilte fish swims with >> great difficulty. > > >> Lovely butterfly -- >> not long ago your name was >> Caterpillarstein. > > A cat steals into >> the night just like my former >> partner, that gonif. > > >> Yom Kippur -- Forgive >> me, Lord, for the Mercedes >> and all that lobster. > > >> Hey! Get back indoors. >> Whatever you were doing >> could put an eye out. > > >> In the ice sculpture >> reflected bar mitzvah guests >> nosh on chopped liver. > > >> Hidden connection -- >> starvation in Africa, >> food left on my plate. > > >> Like a bonsai tree, >> your terrible posture at >> my dinner table. > > >> Beyond Valium >> the peace of knowing one's child >> is an internist. > > >> Jews on safari -- >> map, compass, elephant gun, >> hard sucking candies. > > >> Coroner's report -- >> "The deceased, wearing no hat, >> caught his death of cold." > > >> The same kimono >> the top geishas are wearing: >> got it at Loehmann's. > > >> The sparrow brings home >> too many worms for her young. >> "Force yourself," she chirps. > > >> Jewish triathlon: >> gin rummy, then contract bridge, >> followed by a nap. > > >> "Can't you just leave it?" >> the new Jewish mother asks -- >> umbilical cord. > > >> The shivah visit: >> so sorry about your loss. >> Now back to my problems. > >> Our youngest daughter, >> our most precious jewel. >> Hence the name, Tiffany. > >> Ma, please! There is no >> need to put that dinner roll >> in your pocketbook. > >> Seven-foot Jews in >> the NBA, slam-dunking! >> My alarm clock rings. > >> Concert of car horns >> as we debate the question >> of when to change lanes. >> Sorry I'm not home >> to take your call. At the tone >> please state your bad news. > > >> Is one Nobel Prize >> so much to ask from a child >> after all I've done? > > >> Would-be convert lost -- >> thawed Lender's Bagels made a >> bad first impression. > > >> Today, mild shvitzing. >> Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz. >> Five-day forecast -- feh. > >> Left the door open >> for the Prophet Elijah. >> Now our cat is gone. > > >> Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt. >> Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Tochis. >> Oy! To be fluent! > >> Quietly murmured >> at Saturday services, >> Yanks 5, Red Sox 3. > >> Lonely mantra of >> the Buddhist monk--"They never >> write, they never call." > >> Look, Beryl! I've found >> the most splendid tchochke for >> our Chanukah bush. > >> The long pilgrimage >> to the venerable shrine -- >> Leonard's of Great Neck. > >> Cherry blossoms bloom. >> Sure, it's beautiful, but is >> it good for the Jews? > >> A lovely nose ring -- >> excuse me, while I put my >> head in the oven. > >> Hard to tell under >> the lights -- white Yarmulke or >> male-pattern baldness? > >> Wet moss on the old stones. >> Lying in the grass, >> I ponder who to sue. >> >>