Message-ID: <29699698.1075840406418.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2002 07:01:24 -0800 (PST) From: bgabrielson@cdnam.com To: rospower@home.com Subject: FWD: Fw: Don't let the Mrs see this one Cc: rody.warrren@enron.com, chris.dorland@enron.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Bcc: rody.warrren@enron.com, chris.dorland@enron.com X-From: Brad Gabrielson @ENRON X-To: Ross Power X-cc: Warrren Rody , Dorland, Chris X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Dorland, Chris\Deleted Items X-Origin: DORLAND-C X-FileName: chris dorland 6-26-02.PST DATE: Wed, 16 Jan 2002 21:05:21 -0600 RE: Fw: Don't let the Mrs see this one > >How many men does it take to open a beer? > >None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. > >---------------------------------------- > >Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? > >Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine > >will probably never be able to support you. > >---------------------------------------- > >Why do women have smaller feet than men? > >It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them > >to stand closer to the kitchen sink. > >---------------------------------------- > >How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? > >When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." > >---------------------------------------- > >How do you fix a woman's watch? > >You don't. There is a clock on the oven. > >---------------------------------------- > >Why do men break wind more than women? > >Because women can't shut up long enough to build > >up the required pressure. > >---------------------------------------- > >If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife > >is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? > >The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. > >---------------------------------------- > >What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > >A woman who won't do what she's told. > >---------------------------------------- > >I married Miss Right. > >I just didn't know her first name was Always. > >---------------------------------------- > >I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: > >I don't like to interrupt her. > >---------------------------------------- > >Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a > >woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. > >---------------------------------------- > >Marriage is a 3-ring circus: > >Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. > >---------------------------------------- > >Our last fight was my fault: > >My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" > >I said, "Dust!" > >---------------------------------------- > >In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. > >Then God created Man and rested. > >Then God created Woman. > >Since then, neither God > >nor Man has rested. > >---------------------------------------- > >Why do men die before their wives? > >They want to. > >---------------------------------------- > >A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman > >shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, > >"I haven't eaten anything for days." > >She looked at him and said, > >"God, I wish I had your willpower." > >---------------------------------------- > >Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of > >Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" > >Dad: That happens in every country, son. > >---------------------------------------- > >A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: > >"Wife Wanted." > >The next day he received a hundred letters. > >They all said the same thing: > >"You can have mine." > >---------------------------------------- > >The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday > >is to forget it once. > >---------------------------------------- > >Women will never be equal to men > >until they can walk down the street > >with a bald head and a beer gut, > >and still think they are beautiful. > >---------------------------------------- > > > > > > > >--------------------------------- > >Do You Yahoo!? > >Send FREE video emails in Yahoo! Mail. > >