Message-ID: <25305068.1075854371549.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2000 04:14:00 -0700 (PDT) From: darron.giron@enron.com To: phillip.love@enron.com, kristi.giron@cfisd.net, hollyw@email.msn.com, mark.ebert@broadwing.com, smmayers@earthlink.net, cgiron@mindspring.com, scrowell@us.oracle.com, kevin.bosse@enron.com, kyle.lilly@enron.com, mrichter@us.ibm.com Subject: Fw: Jim Lehrer interviews Gore and Bush Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Darron C Giron X-To: Phillip M Love, kristi.giron@cfisd.net, hollyw@email.msn.com, mark.ebert@broadwing.com, smmayers@earthlink.net, cgiron@mindspring.com, scrowell@us.oracle.com, Kevin Bosse, Kyle R Lilly, mrichter@us.ibm.com X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Darron_Giron_Jun2001\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: Giron-D X-FileName: dgiron.nsf ---------------------- Forwarded by Darron C Giron/HOU/ECT on 10/25/2000 11:13 AM --------------------------- Jeffrey C Gossett 10/25/2000 11:04 AM To: Dawn C Kenne/HOU/ECT@ECT, Darron C Giron/HOU/ECT@ECT, William Kelly/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: Fw: Jim Lehrer interviews Gore and Bush This is pretty funny. ---------------------- Forwarded by Jeffrey C Gossett/HOU/ECT on 10/25/2000 11:03 AM --------------------------- "Josh Fetner" on 10/23/2000 11:33:23 AM > Jim Lehrer: Welcome to the second presidential debate > between Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. > The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. > The candidate will ignore the question and deliver rehearsed > remarks designed to appeal to undecided women voters. > > The opponent will then have one minute to respond by > trying to frighten senior citizens into voting for him. When a > speaker's time has expired, I will whimper softly while he > continues to spew incomprehensible statistics for three > more minutes. > > Let's start with the vice president. Mr. Gore, can you > give us the name of a downtrodden citizen and then tell us > his or her story in a way that strains the bounds of common > sense? > > Gore: As I was saying to Tipper last night after we tenderly made > love the way we have so often during the 30 years of our rock-solid > marriage, the downtrodden have a clear choice in this election. > > My opponent wants to cut taxes for the richest 1 percent of > Americans. I, on the other hand, want to put the richest 1 percent in > an ironclad lockbox so they can't hurt old people like Roberta > Frampinhamper, who is here tonight. > > Mrs. Frampinhamper has been selling her internal organs, one by one, > to pay for gas so that she can travel to these debates and personify > problems for me. Also, her poodle has arthritis. > > Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal. > > Bush: Governors are on the front lines every day, hugging people, > crying with them, relieving suffering anywhere a photo opportunity > exists. > > I want to empower those crying people to make their own > decisions, unlike my opponent, whose mother is not Barbara Bush. > > Lehrer: Let's turn to foreign affairs. Gov. Bush, if Slobodan > Milosevic were to launch a bid to return to power in Yugoslavia, > would you be able to pronounce his name? > > Bush: The current administration had eight years to deal with that > guy and didn't get it done. If I'm elected, the first thing I would > do about that guy is have Dick Cheney confer with our allies. And > then Dick would present me several options for dealing with that guy. > And then Dick would tell me which one to choose. You know, as > governor of Texas, I have to make tough foreign policy decisions > every day about how we're going to deal with New Mexico. > > Lehrer: Mr. Gore, your rebuttal. > > Gore: Foreign policy is something I've always been keenly > interested in. I served my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle who > was a victim of poison gas in World War I. I myself lost a leg in the > Franco-Prussian War. And when that war was over, I came > home and tenderly made love to Tipper in a way that any undecided > woman voter would find romantic. > If I'm entrusted with the office of president, I pledge to deal > knowledgeably with any threat, foreign or domestic, by putting it in > an ironclad lockbox. Because the American people deserve a president > who can comfort them with simple metaphors. > > Lehrer: Vice President Gore, how would you reform the Social Security > system? > > Gore: It's a vital issue, Jim. That's why Joe Lieberman and I have > proposed changing the laws of mathematics to allow us to give $50,000 > to every senior citizen without having it cost the federal treasury a > single penny until the year 2250. > In addition, my budget commits $60 trillion over the next 10 years to > guarantee that all senior citizens can have drugs delivered free to > their homes every Monday by a federal employee who will also help > them with the child-proof cap. > > Lehrer: Gov. Bush? > > Bush: That's fuzzy math. I know, because as governor of Texas, I have > to do math every day. I have to add up the numbers and decide whether > I'm going to fill potholes out on Rt. 36 east of Abilene or commit > funds to reroof the sheep barn at the Texas state fairgrounds. > > Lehrer: It's time for closing statements. > > Gore: I'm my own man. I may not be the most exciting politician, but > I will fight for the working families of America, in addition to > turning the White House into a lusty pit of marital love for Tipper > and me. > > Bush: It's time to put aside the partisanship of the past by electing > no one but Republicans. > Lehrer: Good night. > >