Message-ID: <29535594.1075862277518.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Thu, 8 Nov 2001 08:08:06 -0800 (PST) From: rod.hayslett@enron.com To: haysletr@flash.net Subject: FW: Two Cows Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Hayslett, Rod X-To: 'haysletr@flash.net' X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \RHAYSLE (Non-Privileged)\Hayslett, Rod\Sent Items X-Origin: Hayslett-R X-FileName: RHAYSLE (Non-Privileged).pst FYI -----Original Message----- From: Rosenberg, David E. Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2001 8:13 AM To: Katy Rosenbergg (E-mail); 'rosypat@aol.com'; Lokey, Teb; Schroeder, Maggie; Tu, Denis; Hayslett, Rod; Lichtenwalter, Blair Subject: FW: Two Cows -----Original Message----- From: Binnie Williams [mailto:binnie.williams@verizon.net] Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 8:23 PM To: David Rosenberg; Ilana Rosanski; Frank Kittle; Mark B Simon Subject: Fw: Two Cows ----- Original Message ----- From: Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 6:52 PM Subject: Two Cows > THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES... > > A CHRISTIAN: > > You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. > > > A SOCIALIST: > > You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. > > > A REPUBLICAN: > > You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? > > > A DEMOCRAT: > > You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being > successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to > sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take > the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. > > > A COMMUNIST: > > You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. > > > A FASCIST: > > You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You > join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. > > > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: > > You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell > both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a > gift from your government. > > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: > > You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. > > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: > > You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the > other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. > > > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of > four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. > > > A FRENCH CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. > > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an > ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. > > > A GERMAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat > once a month, and milk themselves. > > > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. > > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count > them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you > have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. > > > A MEXICAN CORPORATION: > > You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. > You take a nap. > > > A SWISS CORPORATION: > > You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing > them for others. > > > A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American > corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares > bankruptcy. > > > AN INDIAN CORPORATION: > > You have two cows. You worship them. > > > A TALIBAN > > You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and > they both die. You blame the godless American infidels. >> > >