Message-ID: <16637627.1075852421016.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2001 08:00:03 -0700 (PDT) From: juan.hernandez@enron.com To: l..garcia@enron.com Subject: FW: From the Jim Rome Show talking about A & M Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-From: Hernandez, Juan X-To: Garcia, Miguel L. X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \JHERNAN3 (Non-Privileged)\Hernandez, Juan\Sent Items X-Origin: HERNANDEZ-J X-FileName: JHERNAN3 (Non-Privileged).pst -----Original Message----- From: =09Serio, Erik =20 Sent:=09Monday, August 27, 2001 11:27 AM To:=09Hernandez, Juan; Miller, Jeffrey; Gilbert, Gerald; 'ksanders@entergy.= com' Subject:=09From the Jim Rome Show talking about A & M 1) They won't shut up. They have to go on about spirit, and old army, and r= ed ass, and how bonfire represents the burning sensation they have in their= urine to beat UT, and blah blah blah. Shut up. You start to get the feelin= g the entire school was built to spite UT.=20 2) Forget the fact that when the Texas Legislature back in the 1870's passe= d legislation to start a state university they also decided to have a subsi= diary branch of the main school (University of Texas) that would teach agri= culture and mechanics. Aggies love to say their school is older, from where= they get that I don't now......the fact is, the State intended A&M to be a= branch of UT. They are like the afterbirth from the original creation. Lik= e Danny Devito in "Twins".=20 3) So they apparently have this complex, so much so, that they must devote = their entire school to trying to prove to UT that they are just as good. Al= l the while, nobody at UT denies that A&M is a good school, yet they won't = shut up. So they write a fight song......about?....Texas, and how they want= to beat them. They have a Fish Camp for freshman where they tell them how = bad Texas is and how good A&M and all its traditions are. It is the world's= largest known case of penis envy, and it is manifested in everything A&M d= oes.=20 4) The people at A&M. Now we all have friends who went to A&M or are at A&M= . There are some nice people there. However...there is the Corp. East Texas= ' answer to dreams of ROTC kids everywhere. For every boy scout who never l= earned to stop playing with his GI Joe Toys, there is the Corp. Now, forget= the fact that A&M will actually let people with sub-par grades enroll if t= hey agree to join the Corp. Forget the fact that the Corps looked like a Ge= stapo hate rally while beating down students on Kyle Field in 1995. Forget = the fact that along with the numerous hazing charges that have been filed a= gainst them, and swept under the rug over the years, they just this past mo= nth have had one Corps member bring charges against another Corps member wh= o apparently had been propositioning others for a little actual sodomy. Not= only could I go on with more instances of idiocracy by these Khaki-clad-sh= aven-headed-dorks, I am sure each of you have your own stories. The point i= s: We all respect West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force Academy; however, no= body respects the Corp. I imagine they are kind of the laughing stock of th= e military world. Just because you dress like the Army, and try and act lik= e the Army, does not make you the Army. People at A&M don't even respect th= ese clowns. It is not cool to shave your head and dress up. Halloween is on= ly supposed to be one day of the year. If you want to carry guns and beat u= p civilians, move to Israel.=20 5) It is even less cool to slobber on somebody's daughter on national telev= ision and call it a tradition. Dry humping 18 year old girls in the stands = at football games is not cool. Not only is it not cool, it should be agains= t the law. I know that in College Station, students are just prone to mount= each other on the campus lawn, or in the middle of class, or anytime anyth= ing good happens you can just grab the girl sitting next to you and start s= ucking on her face. But everywhere else in the world, it is looked down upo= n. Especially if you are doing it on my TV. That is why we have moved the g= ame from Thanksgiving. Because people across the nation were gagging on the= ir turkey when in the middle of watching a football game, some boy scout is= tongue thrashing some overweight co-ed during somebody's Thanksgiving dinn= er. We do not need to see burly women engaged in a suckfest every time your= woeful offense manages to put points on the board. Some of these girls are= in desperate need of a trip to the Clinique counter. Screw that, forget ma= ke-up, it is too late for that, just give them a veil.=20 6) "t.u." is not funny. It is NOT insulting. It is dumb. Just imagine if fo= lks from Texas kept talking about M&A and giggling. That would not be funny= . In fact, it would be retarded. That's why UT fans don't do it. Please lea= rn.=20 7) You want to lose the image of country bumpkins, of a people fond of shee= p, of people that aren't stupid? Then quit building things that fall down. = Quit chasing cheerleaders around with swords on national TV. Quit whooping = in church. Quit whooping period. Quit putting up scoreboards for the enjoym= ent of dead mammals. Quit spending your Friday nights practicing how to yel= l. Quit telling rape jokes to reporters when you're running for Governor. W= hen you are filling out season ticket renewals, and the form asks for your = phone #, H & W, quit putting 258-3999, Height 6'3", Weight 185. Just, colle= ctively, stop making asses of yourselves. Go to East Texas, tour every smal= l town, and ask every red neck with a 5th grade education why they cheer fo= r A&M and wear maroon. That is your fan base. This is why you are perceived= by the educated masses as stupid.=20 8) Nobody cares if you think your band is better. They might be louder, the= y might march in neat little zig zags, but they have no musical ability. Th= e point is, nobody cares who wins halftime. Quit getting geeked up about ma= rching bands. I find it hard to believe you stood through your high school = band's entire halftime performance. And why? Cause nobody cared then and no= body cares now. Plus, you can hear them fine sitting down even if you do ca= re. Why is it cool all of a sudden now that you're in college?=20 9) Men should never let out high pitched whooping sounds. Perhaps the only = justifiable situation in which this can be tolerated is perhaps during an a= nal probe. Oh wait...I understand now.=20 10) Dogs are not ladies. They don't look or smell like ladies. Dogs eat the= ir own feces and should be treated accordingly.=20 11) Finally, College Station is an arm-pit of a town. Quit pretending that = it is a great college town. It is a town and there is a college there. That= should be the end of this comparison. If you feel that life doesn't get an= y better than the Dixie Chicken, and enjoy being stuck in a never ending "D= ukes of Hazard" episode, then move there. More importantly, don't move to A= ustin.....they are trying to create an educated, technological, and open mi= nded population base. Austin is, and will continue to be, the birthplace an= d final resting place of all that is cool. As my friend Stephen Johnson onc= e said: "If the world were ever to get an enema, College Station is where y= ou would connect the hose." If you go to school at A&M, please don't be an = Aggie.