Message-ID: <8465238.1075860859044.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2002 08:39:30 -0800 (PST) From: pjohara@netzero.net To: jwalk@futuresouth.com, stanford@enron.com, stanfors@fleishman.com, jsommganc@aol.com, wbsj@prodigy.net, airlifter@earthlink.net, connierodriguez@att.net, donrod@flash.net, spearl@viad.com, ohara@attglobal.net, josephohara@earthlink.com, ejohara@webtv.net, kkseeley@aol.com, khyatt@ect.enron.com, kennpatsy@aol.com, terryhensleymk@yahoo.com, kcharbour@aol.com, maryann.grayson@ourclub.com, sgee@apex2000.net, gee@llano.net, smile_98_atg@hotmail.com Subject: Fw: How (not) to speak English Properly Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Pat O'Hara X-To: joe walker , Stanford, Steve , jack sommers , marilyn smyly , sarah ross , Connie Rodriquez , Don Rodriguez , Sue Pearl , ohara@attglobal.net, Joe & Betty O'Hara , Ellen Ohara , KKSEELEY@aol.com, Kevin Hyatt , Ken & Patsy Hutto , Terry Pace Hensley , KC Harbour , maryann grayson , skip gee , Richard Gee , Amber Gee X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Kevin_Hyatt_Mar2002\Hyatt, Kevin\Deleted Items X-Origin: Hyatt-K X-FileName: khyatt (Non-Privileged).pst > Subject: How (not) to speak English Properly > > > > 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. > > 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. > > 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. > > 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. > > 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat) > > 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. > > 7. Be more or less specific. > > 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) > > unnecessary. > > 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. > > 10. No sentence fragments. > > 11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used. > > 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. > > 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; > > it's highly superfluous. > > 14. One should NEVER generalize. > > 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches > > 16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc., > > 17. One-word sentences? Eliminate. > > 18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. > > 19. The passive voice is to be ignored. > > 20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical > > words however should be enclosed in commas. > > 21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. > > 22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. > > 23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put > > forth earth-shaking ideas. > > 24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I > > hate quotations. Tell me what you know." > > 25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: > > Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it > > correctly. > > 26. Puns are for children, not groan readers. > > 27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. > > 28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. > > 29. Who needs rhetorical questions? > > 30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. > > > > And the last one... > > > > 31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. > > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------- Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today Only $9.95 per month! http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum&refcd=PT97