Message-ID: <29840799.1075842279891.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 23:34:00 -0800 (PST) From: dan.hyvl@enron.com To: becky.spencer@enron.com Subject: Re: joke for today Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ANSI_X3.4-1968 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Dan J Hyvl X-To: Becky Spencer X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Dan_Hyvl_Dec2000_June2001\Notes Folders\Sent X-Origin: HYVL-D X-FileName: dhyvl.nsf You need to save this joke for use with the new Enron password requirements. Becky Spencer 03/14/2001 05:17 PM To: Dan J Hyvl/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: Re: joke for today Can you believe it's 5:15 p.m. and I finally had time to read your joke? AND, because it's the end of the day, and this joke being what it is, I can't make my mouth work to read this out loud! Good one! Dan J Hyvl 03/14/2001 08:45 AM To: Kaye Ellis/HOU/ECT@ECT, Pat Radford/HOU/ECT@ECT, Stacy E Dickson/HOU/ECT@ECT, Becky Spencer/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: joke for today NEW LANGUAGE -Submitted by PATRICIA L GOONETILLEKE The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,?when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year,?ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!