Message-ID: <15907052.1075854969911.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Tue, 23 Oct 2001 16:00:22 -0700 (PDT) From: pulhamus@aol.com Subject: (no subject) Cc: mbp1832@aol.com, jtuerk@qwest.net Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Bcc: mbp1832@aol.com, jtuerk@qwest.net X-From: PULHAMUS@aol.com@ENRON X-To: MJJNSN@aol.com, Lenhart, Matthew , tlenhart@corealty.com X-cc: Mbp1832@aol.com, jtuerk@qwest.net X-bcc: X-Folder: \MLENHAR (Non-Privileged)\Deleted Items X-Origin: Lenhart-M X-FileName: MLENHAR (Non-Privileged).pst > > >> >Subject: Had a Bad Day? > > > > > > > > > All of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to > > take > > > it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, > take > > > it out on someone you DON'T know!!! > > > > > > Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I > > had > > > to make. I found the number and dialled it. > > > > > > A man answered nicely saying,"Hello?" > > > > > > I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to > > Robin > > > Carter?" > > > > > > Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that > anyone > > > could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called > her. > > > > > > She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with > > > Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I > decided > > to > > > call it again. > > > > > > When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're an asshole!" > and > > > hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it > > in > > > my desk drawer. > > > > > > Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, > > I'd > > > call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an asshole!" It would > > always > > > cheer me up. > > > > > > Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a > real > > > disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then > one > > > day I had an idea. I dialled his number, then heard his voice,"Hello." I > > > made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company > > > and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID > > program?" > > > He went, "No! and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and > > > said, "That's because you're an asshole!" > > > > > > The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if > > > there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about > it. > > > > > > Just dial 823-4863. Keep reading, it gets better. > > > > > > This old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the > parking > > > space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car > began > > to > > > move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a > > > little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, > > she's > > > finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the > > other > > > side, and pulled into my spot. This guy jumps out, flips me the finger > and > > > jogs off into the mall. I notice the Camaro has a FOR SALE sign with his > > > phone number on it.... > > > > > > A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just > gotten > > > off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an asshole!" > > (It's > > > really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I > > > noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my > desk > > > and > > > thought I'd better call this guy too. After a couple rings someone > > answered > > > the phone and said, "Hello." > > > > > > I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?" > > > > > > "Yes, it is." > > > > > > "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > > > > > "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's > > > parked right out front." > > > > > > I said, "What's your name?" > > > > > > "My name is Don Hansen." > > > > > > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > > > > > > "I'm home in the evenings." > > > > > > "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" > > > > > > "Yes," > > > > > > "Don, you're an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up > I > > > added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. > > > > > > For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a > > > problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of > calling > > > the assholes and hanging up on them it just > > > wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious > > > thought and came up with a > > > solution: > > > > > > First, I had my phone dial asshole #1. A man answered nicely saying, > > > "Hello." > > > > > > I yelled "You're an asshole!", but I didn't hang up. > > > > > > The asshole said, "Are you still there?" > > > > > > I said, "Yeah." > > > > > > He said, "Stop calling me." > > > > > > I said, "No." > > > > > > He said, "What's your name, Pal?" > > > > > > I said, "Don Hansen." > > > > > > He said "Where do you live?" > > > > > > 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked > > out > > > front." > > > > > > "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your > prayers." > > > > > > "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole!" and I hung up. > > > > > > Then I called asshole #2. > > > > > > He answered, "Hello." > > > > > > I said, "Hello, asshole!" > > > > > > He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > > > > > "You'll what?" > > > > > > "I'll kick your ass." > > > > > > "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now asshole!" And I > hung > > > up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was > at > > > 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going > > > to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to > Channel > > > 13 about the gang war > > > going on down W.34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and > headed > > > over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. > > > > > > Glorious! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of each other in > > front > > > of 6 squad cars, a news crew and a police helicopter was one of the > > greatest > > > experiences of my life! > > > > > > Name withheld to protect the guilty. > > > > > > > > >