Message-ID: <1919273.1075858159041.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 06:20:00 -0800 (PST) From: matthew.lenhart@enron.com To: stadogb@email.msn.com Subject: FW: FW: Florida removed from the USA Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ANSI_X3.4-1968 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Matthew Lenhart X-To: stadogb@email.msn.com X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Matthew_Lenhart_Jun2001\Notes Folders\Sent X-Origin: Lenhart-M X-FileName: mlenhar.nsf fla- be proud! ---------------------- Forwarded by Matthew Lenhart/HOU/ECT on 11/13/2000 02:20 PM --------------------------- shirley.s.elliott@citicorp.com on 11/13/2000 12:22:29 PM To: Michael_Ecklund@hines.com, cburrow@houston.rr.com, Chad.Landry@enron.com, cwahart@mail.utexas.edu, HKlassen@EESUS.JNJ.com, j.cruthis@mail.utexas.edu, jjohnson@daewoous.com, JohnWheeler@PZLQS.com, Matthew.Lenhart@enron.com, matthew.overbeck@ac.com, Rmoser@emjmetals.com cc: Subject: FW: FW: Florida removed from the USA -----Original Message----- From: mlednicky [SMTP:mlednicky@deloitte.com] Sent: Monday, November 13, 2000 11:59 AM To: cstrain; jenwalker; eradle; adamon; htouchstone; amgarrison; astephenson; amagid; anbarnes; gvilas; jadavis; miwallis; jeharris; mgrubbs; trip23; helona; douglas.e.pustejovsky; IMCEACCMAIL-jbmaggie+40hotmail+2Ecom+20a; james.gerik; j.janek; kfreedman; lstavinoha; rjaska; ackermorris; reidstav; shirley.s.elliott; k.janek; chadrsmith; dmorales; dkusler; emily.pickett; j.janek; jeff.holloman; johngerik; karen.mckenzie; katlucky13; popbeseda; IMCEACCMAIL-Michael+20Rohrig+20at+20DTT+; amelasky Cc: mlednicky Subject: FW: FW: Florida removed from the USA >Subject: Florida to be removed from US > >WASHINGTON D.C. (AP/UPI) - Following an emergency meeting >Tuesday morning, Congress >unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United >States of America. >The move was a reaction to the confusion and >irregularities in the state's >voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 >Presidential election. >"This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orin >Hatch. "First Elian >Gonzales, now this." >Several congressmen told reporters the decision has >been a long time coming. >"We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said >representative Barney Frank. >"They've been a constant embarrassment for too long >now." Added Frank, >"They >had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done >lately? Oh that's right, >screw up our >entire democracy. I forgot" > >In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachusetts >senator Ted Kennedy commented >that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly >population will free up billions >of dollars in social security funds. >"These are valuable funds which can now be >redirected toward national >defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, >weakened military," said >the Senator to roaring applause. > >From her New York campaign headquarters, freshly >elected senator Hilary >Clinton echoes the sentiments of her future >colleagues on Capitol Hill, >calling Florida "a hurricane-addled hellhole full of >scheming Cuban >immigrants." >"Learn fucking English already, you banana boat >bums," Clinton added. >As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and >Senate decreed a new >election will take place in early December. This >time, ballots in each state >will be tabulated by robots. >"It is clear that our human vote-counting system is >too inherently >flawed,"said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. >"The presence of these >new, superior robot mast - err, I mean - tabulators >will ensure 100% >accuracy." >"Remember," said Hastert, "every vote counts, >especially if it's counted by >robots." >Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, >after which the state will >be completely geographically separated from the >United States. >"After that, they're on their own," said Hastert. "I >hope they sink. >Fuckers." _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message and are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. >Subject:? Florida to be removed from US > >WASHINGTON D.C. (AP/UPI) - Following an emergency meeting >Tuesday morning, Congress >unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United >States of America. >The move was a reaction to the confusion and >irregularities in the state's >voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 >Presidential election. >"This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orin >Hatch. "First Elian >Gonzales, now this." >Several congressmen told reporters the decision has >been a long time coming. >"We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said >representative Barney Frank. >"They've been a constant embarrassment for too long >now."? Added Frank, >"They >had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done >lately? Oh that's right, >screw up our >entire democracy. I forgot" > >In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachusetts >senator Ted Kennedy commented >that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly >population will free up billions >of dollars in social security funds. >"These are valuable funds which can now be >redirected toward national >defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, >weakened military," said >the Senator to roaring applause. > >From her New York campaign headquarters, freshly >elected senator Hilary >Clinton echoes the sentiments of her future >colleagues on Capitol Hill, >calling Florida "a hurricane-addled hellhole full of >scheming Cuban >immigrants." >"Learn fucking English already, you banana boat >bums," Clinton added. >As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and >Senate decreed a new >election will take place in early December. This >time, ballots in each state >will be tabulated by robots. >"It is clear that our human vote-counting system is >too inherently >flawed,"said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. >"The presence of these >new, superior robot mast - err, I mean - tabulators >will ensure 100% >accuracy." >"Remember," said Hastert, "every vote counts, >especially if it's counted by >robots." >Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, >after which the state will >be completely geographically separated from the >United States. >"After that, they're on their own," said Hastert. "I >hope they sink. >Fuckers." _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law.? If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message and are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited.