Message-ID: <26496704.1075855342389.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Mon, 3 Dec 2001 08:27:47 -0800 (PST) From: tim.murphy@elpaso.com To: 'bump@enron.com, dbump@ect.enron.com, 'whitt@enron.com, mwhitt@ect.enron.com Subject: FW: The Five Levels of Drinking Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Murphy, Tim X-To: 'Bump, Dan' , 'Whitt, Mark' X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Mark_Whitt_Jan2002_1\Whitt, Mark\Inbox X-Origin: Whitt-M X-FileName: mwhitt (Non-Privileged).pst > >The Five Levels of Drinking > >LEVEL 1: It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. Just as you >get up to leave because you have work the next day, one of your friends >buys another round. One of your "unemployed" friends. Here at level one >you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, as long as I get seven >hours of sleep, I'll be fine." > >LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent >20 minutes arguing against the use of artificial turf. You get up to leave >again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now >you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for >anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours >sleep...I'm cool." > >LEVEL 3: One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've >just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR the use of artificial turf. And now >you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" > At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a >drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his >face. You get drinking fantasies (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own >bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could >cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger...and he's >buying. And you're thinking, "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get >three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood, I'm cool." > >LEVEL 4: Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, >you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This >time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the >bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our >busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends >decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an >after hours bar. Here at level four, you actually think to yourself, >"Well...as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as >well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind >going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn >that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours >sleep tomorrow, I'm cool. > >LEVEL 5: Five in the morning. After unsuccessfully trying to get your >money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named >Simon!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar >with guys who have been in prison as recently as... that morning. It's the >kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta >be in Hell at nine." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick >blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh >stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry >that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO >VEGAS, BABY!!!!!" - and passes out. You crawl outside for air, and then >you hit the worst part of level five - the sun. You weren't expecting that >were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see >people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you and they >know. And they say,"Who's Simon?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you >stay up all night, it's like a victory. You've beat the night. But if >you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. > >We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again as >long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, >I mean it!" _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp ****************************************************************** This email and any files transmitted with it from the ElPaso Corporation are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the sender. ******************************************************************