Message-ID: <6850900.1075840009124.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 13:59:57 -0700 (PDT) From: kysa.alport@enron.com To: bill.williams@enron.com Subject: FW: Spontaneous Combustion Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-From: Alport, Kysa X-To: Williams III, Bill X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Williams III, Bill\SymesEES X-Origin: WILLIAMS-W3 X-FileName: Here is the 'fire ball' story. Kysa M. Alport Enron North America 503-464-7486 -----Original Message----- From: =09Freeman, Scott =20 Sent:=09Tuesday, July 10, 2001 10:36 AM To:=09Alport, Kysa Subject:=09Spontaneous Combustion I don't usually send out a group email, but listen to this shit. So I am s= itting at work this morning minding my own business when all hell breaks lo= ose. It is about 630am, and most of the trading has subsided for the morni= ng. I decide to grab the first ham and cheese omelet from the women that a= re serving our breakfast this morning because who knows how long the food w= ill last...today is a special day because we get a fresh cooked breakfast f= rom a propane grill as opposed to the green eggs and ham that we are used t= o because no one wants to get up at 3am and cook a fresh breakfast for Enro= n employees, they usually cook it the night before. So, everyone on the flo= or is very excited and pumped up about the possibility of grabbing a nice b= reakfast without having the fear that later in the afternoon your ass would= wreak havoc on you for eating the nasty green eggs. So, I grab the first = omelet and the crowd surges toward the two 70 year-old women at the grill. = Everyone is smiling, deciding whether or not they want ham or maybe they w= ill get crazy and add salsa or something. The next thing you know, straigh= t out of a FOX tv show or "You've Gotta See This" episode...this old woman = is engulfed in flames like the great fire of Chicago. The propane tanks he= ating the stove exploded and the flames are high and wide, raising up to te= n feet in height. The place turns into a frenzy. Nobody can move, react, o= r anything. Everyone is frozen watching this old woman(picture happy Gilmo= re's grandma) go up like an old Christmas tree. A few seconds before this = high school chemistry experiment, I was sitting on the first row right in t= he middle and I was staring at my two liquid display computer terminals and= glancing at the sports ticker on ESPN2 on the 50inch Liquid FlatScreen TV = that is directly above my desk. The old woman that went into flames is dire= ctly in front of me, about a literal three feet away and I am directly faci= ng the inferno along with a co-worker who is catching the blunt of the heat= of the flames. I don't save the old woman like most of you might have thou= ght, I can't do anything but shout obscenities and wonder who the hell is g= oing to jump in there and save this poor lady. The old woman is yelling ,"= Somebody get me outta here!"...yet we all continue to stare.....finally, so= meone grabs her arm and yanks her out of the blaze. Who is this masked man= , I have no clue. However, I do witness Les from middle marketing doing hi= s best Maurice Greene directly for the fire extinguisher of which he is the= only one in the office that has a clue where it is. I see someone throwing= a pitcher of egg yolk on the fire earlier, which is funny, if not for the = fact that an old lady is missing half of her hair and her arms are about to= blister up. The blaze is extinguished after taking a hell of a toll on th= e old woman, ruining the flat screen tv that used to sit above me, and torc= hing a bunch of cabinets and the backs of computer screens. The alarm in o= ur building 3 World Trade Center is screaming, and the smoke is enough to m= ake even Polarek leave the area. So, the fire departemnt comes and the old= woman is now out of the building and on her way to the hospital. Who know= s what condition she is in, but all I know is I hope I am never around a bu= nch of vaginas(myself and the rest of us that did nothing) when I go up in = flames someday. Well, I have to get back to work because I have wasted abo= ut 20 minutes writing this drama. Take care, Scotty