\documentstyle[utils]{article} \pagestyle{myheadings} \markright{Yale AI Songbook} %%\newcommand{\myheading}[1]{{\hinge\LARGE #1 \medskip}} \newcommand{\myheading}[1]{{\subsection*{#1}}} \begin{document} \begin{format} \myheading{Thanks for the Memories} (Slade, 81) Thanks for the memories Of all the time I kill While waiting for the drill Or was I in the lawyer's office Drawing up my will? I'll never Forget. Thanks for the memories Of writing out the checks At Bloomingdale's or Saks Reminding me of theories such as Bowers, Turners, and Black's I'll never Forget. Memory organization Is When packets are brought in relation Through strategies Come indices To memories And expertise, so MOPs are for memories Of steaks cooked very rare Reminding me of hair That wasn't cut the way I wanted In the barber chair I'll never Forget. MOPs are for memories Of diving at the beach For dollars out of reach Bringing to mind the story of The drunk with specious speech I'll never Forget. \hinge \myheading{I Get No Kick from Champaign} (Slade, 78. Inspired by TINLAP-2, held at the University of Illinois) Verse: My story is much too sad to be told But practically everything leaves me perfectly cold. The only exception I know is the case When I'm out as a conferee Fighting vainly the old ennui And I suddenly turn and see A programming trace. Chorus: I get no kick from Champaign Here Illinois doesn't fill me with joy So my presence here must imply [So I feel compelled to reply] That I get a kick from AI. Some like the linguistics game I know that if I did one dative shift It would bore me terrifically But I get a kick from C.D. I get a kick every time I see A LISP program before me I get a kick though it's clear to see The linguists out there all abhor me. Some like the blocks world domain Moving a sphere from the front to the rear Makes me fear that I rather would die But I get a kick from AI! \hinge \myheading{In CD (Let It Be)} (Slade, 78) When I find myself in times of trouble Father Roger comes to me Speaking words of wisdom In CD And in my hour of darkness He is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom In CD In CD, in CD, in CD, in CD. Speaking words of wisdom In CD And when the broken hearted linguists Living in the world agree There will be an answer In CD And though there may be Chomsky There is still a chance that they will see There will be an answer In CD In CD, in CD, in CD, in CD. There will be an answer In CD I wake up to the sound of MTRANS Father Roger comes to me Speaking words of wisdom In CD \hinge \myheading{My Thesis (Maria) } (Slade, 78) My thesis I've just finished writing my thesis And suddenly my name Will never be the same again. My thesis I've just finished typing my thesis And suddenly I've found How wonderful a sound can be! My thesis Say it loud and there's music playing Though I still have a lot of AJ'ing My thesis I've just finished writing my thesis! \hinge \myheading{Psy-cho-lo-gy (A-mer-i-ca)} (Slade, 78) I like to be in psychology O.K. by me in psychology Subjects get fee in psychology No dumb CD in psychology I like psychology paradigm I like to measure reaction time I want to be just like B.F. Skinner But I might throw up all my dinner! We have high goals in psychology We measure roles in psychology With strict controls in psychology But full of holes in psychology! I like collecting my data Filling my mazes with rata Prodding their bodies with sudden jolts Seeing them jump at a thousand volts! I like to study psychology Get Ph.D. in psychology Always is muddy psychology But never bloody psychology! \hinge \myheading{I Love AI (I Love New York)} (Slade, 78) I love AI I love AI I love AI ... \hinge \myheading{Winograd (Jingle Bells)} (Slade, 78) Winograd, Winograd, Terry Winograd Oh what fun AI must be Since Terry's never sad! Winograd, Winograd, Terry Winograd We love AI in the USA Cause it's dump in Leningrad. John went into town. To a restaurant he did go. He ordered up a lobster >From the waitress as you know. He paid the check and left And to this very night That lobster is uneaten John didn't take a bite! \hinge \myheading{Anatole (Xanadu)} (Rick Granger, 78) (to the meter of ``Xanadu'' by Coleridge) For Anatole did Roger Schank a Ph.D. and job decree Where Chris, the absent parser man wrote ELI, which in master plan through parse trees measureless to man output the right C.D. \hinge \myheading{My Favorite Hacks (My Favorite Things)} (Drew McDermott, 78) RPLACing the cells on the free storage list; Strange symbols for which no PNAMEs exist; Returning a value by changing the stacks These are a few of my favorite hacks. Cryptic notations that no one can read; Self-smashing macros that grow like a weed; Leaving a PROG from a called sub-routine These are the hacks that I find really keen. When my LISP dies >From ILL MEM REFs, Irrecoverably I simply remember my favorite hacks - There's no one to blame - but me. \hinge \myheading{Flanagan (Harrison)} (Slade, 78) (dedicated to Frank Miller, David Hall, Dr. Dana Blauchard, and Patrolman Robert Onofrio) F - L - A N A G A N spells Flanagan. Yesterday while driving out to Mystic, I became another accident statistic. A M B U L A N C E spells ambulance. They took me from the scene And filled me full of dramamine, Flanagan Ambulance! \hinge \myheading{Noam Chomsky's Band (McNamara's Band) } (Slade, 78) Oh, my name is Noam Chomsky I'm linguistic's Iron Duke And if you disagree with me I'll argue till you puke! I was once iconoclastic - I am now linguistic's norm Though I don't display my competence Whenever I perform! Oh, there's Lees and Lyons and Langendoen and Barbara Hall Partee Jackendoff and Bresnan come to me on bended knee! And there's Katz and Fodor and Bach and Harms, McCawley and Quang Phuque Dong, And if Descartes were alive today, I'm sure he'd join the throng! \hinge \myheading{How Do You Solve a Problem Like Cognition?} (Slade, 78) (to the tune of ``How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?'') How do you solve a problem like cognition? How do you catch a thought and make it plain? How do you solve a problem like cognition? A new memory disk? A program in LISP? A frame? How do you solve a problem like cognition? How do you hold a concept in your brain? \hinge \myheading{I Will} (Slade, 78, 81) (Jerry/Tolya to Roger) (Larry/Margot to Roger) (to the tune of ``I Will'') Who knows how long I've written You know, I'm writing still Will I write a lonely lifetime If you want me to I will. For if I ever finish I'll get a Ph.D. But it really doesn't matter For I don't believe C.D. Writing forever and forever Writing with all my heart Writing whenever we're together Writing when we're apart. And when at last I finish I'll leave this dear old school And I'll argue like a master For no one can argue faster Than this scruffy little flabbergaster Who coded up ABDUL. \hinge \myheading{Conceptual Dependency (Alice's Restaurant)} (Slade, 82) You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency Just jot it down off the top of your head - If you have a problem use a script instead. You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency ....A year ago last Thanksgiving, that's Thanksgiving a year ago, (One night) two young men from Egulac went down to the river to hunt seal, and while they were there it became foggy and calm. Then they heard war-cries, and they thought: ``Maybe this is a war-party.'' They escaped to the shore, and hid behind a log. Now canoes came up, and they heard the noise of paddles, and saw one canoe coming up to them. There were five men in the canoe, and they said: ``Isn't this from some experiment by Bartlett?'' ``Sure'', said another one, ``it's `The War of the Ghosts'. Why don't we sing the chorus again?'' ``OK'' ..... \hinge \myheading{Another Glitch in the Call} (Sung to the tune of a recent Pink Floyd song.) >From decvax!utzoo!utcsrgv!roderick Mon Nov 1 14:24:35 1982 (Via umpteen intermediaries) We don't need no indirection We don't need no flow control No data typing or declarations Hey! Did you leave the lists alone? Chorus: All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call. We don't need no side effect-ing We don't need no scope control No global variables for execution Hey! Did you leave those args alone? (Chorus) We don't need no allocation We don't need no special nodes No dark bit-flipping in the functions Hey! Did you leave the bits alone? (Chorus) We don't need no compilation We don't need no load control No link edit for external bindings Hey! Did you leave that source alone? (Chorus, and repeat) \hinge \myheading{Boot It} (Sung to the tune of Michael Jackson's ``Beat It'') From: STEVENSON "Rick Stevenson 264-8700 MKO1-2/D3" 7-MAY-1984 14:19 (via DECNET) You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead, Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed, The system just crashed, but don't lose your head, Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT. Better think fast, better do what you can, Read the manual or call your system man, Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan, So BOOT IT, Get the system manager to BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Even though you'd rather shoot it. Don't be upset, it's only some glitch. All that you do is flip a little switch. BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Get right down and restitute it. Don't get excited, all is not lost. CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it... You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two, The system says your job's at the head of the queue, Right then the thing dies but you know what to do, BOOT IT. You always get so worried when the system runs slow, And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low, But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know) So BOOT IT, Call the local guru to \hinge BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Go ahead re-institute it. If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf, But if you are, it'll do itself. BOOT IT, BOOT IT, Then go find the guy who screwed it! Operating systems are built to bounce back, Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack. BOOT IT, BOOT IT, \end{format} \end{document} \documentstyle[utils]{article} \pagestyle{myheadings} \markright{Yale AI Songbook, 1986 Edition} \newcommand{\myheading}[1]{{\hinge\LARGE #1 \medskip}} \begin{document} \begin{format} \myheading{Hey Judge} (sung to ``Hey Jude'') Hey Judge, don't lock me up maybe next time, I can be better remember that if I'm out of the pen then I can begin to make it better. And if in jail I must remain Hey Judge refrain Don't make me break rocks and hammer boulders For now you know I can't make bail -- I'll rot in jail Until my parole -- I'll be much older. da da da da, da, da da da da. \myheading{Common LISP} (sung to ``Yesterday'') Common LISP, All my programs must be Common LISP If I protest, they just insist Oh I must code in Common LISP Suddenly I can't run the code I wrote in T All my objects have deserted me Oh Common LISP came suddenly. Why T had to go They don't know, T would be missed. I saw T take flight now I write in Common LISP. Common LISP, All my programs must be Common LISP If I complain, they just get pissed. Oh I must code in Common LISP \newpage \myheading{Dissertation} (sung to ``Satisfaction'') [incomplete??] I can't get no Dissertation. I can't get no Dissertation. Cause I try, and I try, and I try, and I try, I can't get no I can't get no ... \myheading{Roger} (sung to ``Suzanne'') Roger takes you down, To his house out in Woodbridge. You can sit in the jacuzzi You can spend the night forever And the sun pours down like honey On our guru of the forest And he feeds you wine and truffles That came all the way from Paris And just when you want to tell him That you have no draft to give him He gets you on his wavelength And lets the water answer That he hasn't read the first draft And you want to be his student And you want to learn AI And you think you maybe trust him 'Cause he's trashed your latest chapter with his pen. \newpage \myheading{The Glory of Yale} (sung to ``The Glory of Love'') You've got to --- a little --- a little and --- --- --- --- --- a little. That's the story of, That's the glory of Yale. 1 dream scheme kick the walls and scream 2 write fight display a clever insight As long as there's research to do We've got to write more code in T. And if our work is ever through, We've got a Ph.D. 3 try cry give a paper at IJCAI 4 read bleed at Roger's parties smoke the weed You get in debt, a little, Sweat, a little, Then go to Belmont and bet, a little. You've got to code in T Load in T Then garbage collect your node, in T You get to use Apollos Abuse Apollos And on the third floor blow a fuse with Apollos That's the story of, That's the glory of Yale. \newpage \myheading{The Programs That Crunch} (sung to ``The Ladies Who Lunch'') [a cynical song for Hammond] Here's to the programs that crunch, Everybody laugh. Monte Carlo methods for checking a hunch And cutting time in half. For engineering, scientific Numeric applications, Use finite difference schemes in FORTRAN For approximations. I'll drink to that! \hinge Here's to the programs that see Everybody knows Shadows make it hard to detect subtleties Like feet without their toes. But very soon, a robot arm Equipped with TV lenses Can play a hand of contract bridge At gatherings of Mensa's. I'll drink to that! \hinge Here's to the programs that teach Everybody clap! Putting Seymour Papert's ideas into reach With Logo on your lap. Another Apple in the school, How many more are prudent? Another drill and practice tool Another brain-dead student. I'll drink to that! Here's to the programs that plan Everybody tries. Remembering that a wok can't be used as a pan In hamburger surprise. Another recipe to make, another chance for learning, Another souffle dish to bake, Do you smell something burning? I'll drink to that! \hinge Here's to the programs that think Aren't they the best! Modelling behavior of some missing link Reading terrorist digests. Another thousand lines of code Triggers an expectation. This time the program did not explode We need an explanation! I'll drink to that! So's here's to the programs we write Everybody tries. Hoping to get some new and helpful insight Or a product someone buys. We are working till late in the night Trying to get it just right. Let's hear it for the programs we write: Everybody rise! Rise! Rise! \newpage \myheading{Read It} (sung to ``Beat It'') You're examining a thesis 'bout a program named SAM You know you have to know it, know you have to cram If you don't you sure as shooting gonna screw up the exam So read it, just read it. Next you get a book by Anderson explaining his HAM And after that you have Wilensky's PAM But spreading activation has turned your mind to spam So read it, Pick up the report and Read it, Read it, God knows if you'll ever need it. Don't forget planning, don't forget STRIPS, If you're in trouble, write about scripts, but Read it, Read it, No one could have guaranteed it, Don't forget packets, that includes MOPS, Stare at your IJCAI, like a cyclops And read it, read it, read it, read it... \hinge You get a book by Chomsky that looks like a breeze, He shows how languages are formed from syntax trees, But all of his examples are in ancient Portuguese, Read it. You get another thesis, this time Meehan's TALESPIN, You're frantic and exhausted, just can't begin, You imagine Joe Bear being hunted in Berlin But, read it. \hinge Open up the book and Read it, read it, Even though you feel ennui'd, it Has to get better, can't get no worse, Try something different, read in reverse. Read it, read it, Parsing it into CD'd it Still be confusing, boring and dull, Still be a question, there on the qual, Read it, read it. \hinge You get the peer review journal called the B and BS The articles are interesting as watercress You see that half the title is accurate I guess, Read it, just read it. You finished with the qual - now you're glad to be through You signed your answers all as number twenty-two. Now you have to wait for Roger, Elliot and Drew To read it, \hinge They will tear apart your test and Read it, read it, Going through your answers full-speed, it Soon will be over, soon you will know, If you are staying or out in the snow. They'll read it, read it, To see if you become Ph.D.'d, it Still means you must work, late in the night, Still have a dissertation to write, Yes, Write it, write it, write it, write it... \end{format} \end{document} \documentstyle[utils]{article} \pagestyle{myheadings} \markright{Yale AI Songbook, 1988 Edition} \newcommand{\myheading}[1]{{\hinge\LARGE #1 \medskip}} \begin{document} \begin{format} \myheading{It Ain't Necessarily So} It ain't necessarily so. It ain't necessarily so. What you learn at Yale College 'Bout parsing with knowledge -- It ain't necessarily so. Li'l Roger is smart, but oh my. Li'l Roger is smart, but oh my. When he git on dat plane He don't use no brain Li'l Roger is smart, but oh my. Parsin (parsin) Cog'tive modelling (cog'tive modelling) Artificial 'tell'gence (artificial 'tell'gence) Eliza (eliza) Yeah. You don't need no big inference. You don't need no big inference. Forget backward chaining Just use some lame-braining You don't need no big inference. In the input you find some keyword. In the input you find some keyword. An' you use that index Get a story 'bout sex. In the input you find some keyword. Parsin (parsin) Cog'tive modelling (cog'tive modelling) Artificial 'tell'gence (artificial 'tell'gence) Eliza (eliza) Yeah. It ain't necessarily so. It ain't necessarily so. This theory from Yale May explain Danforth Quayle, But it ain't necessarily so. \end{format} \end{document} \documentstyle[utils]{article} \pagestyle{myheadings} \markright{Yale AI Songbook, 1986 Edition, Part 2} \newcommand{\mysubheading}[1]{{\LARGE #1 \medskip}} \newcommand{\myheading}[1]{{\newpage\mysubheading{#1}}} \begin{document} \begin{format} \mysubheading{Hush Little Yuppie} [A lullaby for the Pepsi generation] (sung to ``Hush Little Baby'') Hush little yuppie don't complain You can go out and score cocaine. If that coke don't get you blotto, Go buy yourself a German auto. If that German auto won't start, Go buy yourself a Cusinart. If that Cusinart don't slice, Buy a VCR and pay full price. If that VCR's not fine, Go buy yourself some vintage wine. If that vintage wine turns sour, You can read a book by Eisenhower. If Eisenhower makes you cry, You can buy a plane and learn to fly. If that plane lands on the rocks, You can invest in bonds and stocks. If those bonds and stocks are dead, You can take a trip to Hilton Head. If Hilton Head seems like the end, Come on back home and buy a friend. \myheading{The City of New Haven} (sung to ``The City of New Orleans'') Writing in the city of New Haven The AI lab at the school that's known as Yale. Fifteen nodes and fifteen restless students Editing files, sending electronic mail. And the bits flow silently As the keys click steadily And the screen pops up windows filled with news And we read the current net.jokes And drink a dozen diet Cokes. This lab's got the midnight thesis blues. Goodnight advisor how are you Don't you know that we're on chapter one. We're in the town they call the city of New Haven. We will write 100 words when the day is done. \hinge Our program won't perform the way its written. We print a copy on the Imagen. We spend untold hours tracing down the problem. The code is tricky -- hairy as Rin Tin Tin. We have to crawl around the stacks And try a dozen dirty hacks But every time the program gags and dies. Our filthy code would make you choke And one by one our programs croak Their bytes are dust before our very eyes. Good morning advisor how are you Don't you know our programs almost run. We're in the town they call the city of New Haven. We will find 100 bugs when the day is done. \hinge It's lunch time in the city of New Haven. In three days we have yet to go to sleep. We leave the lab in search of lost nutrition. We walk to Clarkes and graze like stupid sheep. We suffer through our aches and pains As grease from Greece pollutes our veins We feed on pizza full of feta cheese. The cheese can really get our goats, We eat dolmades and clutch our throats. We are grateful when the final grape leaves. Hello advisor how are you Don't you know our meal is underdone. We're in the town they call the city of New Haven. We will gain 100 pounds when our work is done. \myheading{Turn me Lisp Machine Off, Boys} (sung to ``Tie me kangaroo down, boys'') [At the University of Wollongong AI Project, an old AI programmer is about to crash for the last time...] Take me place at the lob, Bob. Take me place at the lob. It's not too much of a job, Bob. Take me place at the lob. Everybody now: (chorus) Turn me Lisp Machine off, boys Turn me Lisp Machine off. Turn me Lisp Machine off, boys Turn me Lisp Machine off. Dry out all of my MOPS, Pops. Dry out all of my MOPS. Put them away with my TOPS, Pops. Dry out all of my MOPS. (chorus) Kill me UNIX login, Ben. Kill me UNIX login. I can't play rogue again, Ben. Kill me UNIX login. (chorus) \hinge Teach my intro class, Kass. Teach my intro class. The football players should pass, Kass. Teach my intro class. (chorus) \hinge Tell Roger I'll be back in a week, Leake. Tell Roger I'll be back in a week. Just make sure he doesn't freak, Leake. Tell Roger I'll be back in a week. (chorus) \hinge Don't let Noam Chomsky defame me, Jaime. Don't let Noam Chomsky defame me. He'll try to get one by me, Jaime. Don't let Noam Chomsky defame me. (chorus) \hinge Don't let my students be trendy, Wendy Don't let my students be trendy. Expert systems offend me, Wendy. Don't let my students be trendy. (chorus) \hinge I'm not very long for this planet, Janet. I'm not very long for this planet. If they set me on fire, please fan it, Janet. I'm not very long for this planet. (chorus) \hinge I'm almost ready to bury, Larry, I'm almost ready to bury. I'd rather have disentary (sp?), Larry. I'm almost ready to bury. \hinge Send my paper off to IJCAI, Guy. Send my paper off to IJCAI. {\it Second singer:} Well, he got his reply from the blokes at IJCAI, Who suggested that he go ahead and die. All together now. \comment{ ..You can keep the book by Polya, Tolya Mike, Jim, Rick, Rich, Chris, Chuck, Neal, Drew, Elliot (!),} \myheading{That Lonesome Thesis} (sung to ``That Lonesome Valley'') You got to write that lonesome thesis. You got to write it by yourself. Ain't nobody here gonna write it for you. You got to write it by yourself. Some folks say you must write a program. Some folks say you must write two. But when your done with that program. You've got to write a thesis too. (chorus) You got to eat at Clarke's for dinner. You got to eat at Clarke's for lunch. Ain't nobody here gonna eat there with you. You got to eat at Clarke's a bunch. (chorus) \myheading{Joe LISP} (sung to ``Joe Hill'') I Dreamed I Saw Joe LISP last night Alive as he could be. But Joe, I said, You left with Kris. I never left, said he. I never left, said he. Kris Hammond wrote your stories Joe Both clever and absurd. Says Joe, that's just what Kris told you. He never wrote one word. He never wrote one word. But Joe, I said, Kris told your tales Of crime and smut and thugs. Says Joe, I got to tell you straight: Kris Hammond sold me drugs. Kris Hammond sold me drugs. But when I couldn't pay in cash Kris offered me a deal: Write stories he could call his own With wit and sex appeal. With wit and sex appeal. Joe looked at me without a grin [NOTE: Check original] But smiling with his eyes In AI labs around the land, Go out and plagarize. Go out and plagarize. I Dreamed I Saw Joe LISP last night Alive as he could be. But Joe, I said, You left with Kris. I never left, said he. I never left, said he. \myheading{I Will} (Slade, 78, 81) (Jerry/Tolya to Roger) (Larry/Margot to Roger) (sung to ``I Will'') Who knows how long I've written You know, I'm writing still Will I write a lonely lifetime If you want me to I will. For if I ever finish I'll get a Ph.D. But it really doesn't matter For I don't believe C.D. Writing forever and forever Writing with all my heart Writing whenever we're together Writing when we're apart. And when at last I finish I'll leave this dear old school And I'll argue like a master For no one can argue faster Than this scruffy little flabbergaster Who coded up ABDUL. \myheading{Roger's Restaurant} (sung to ``Alice's Restaurant'') You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency. You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency. Just write it down, and use CD. Forget about Chomsky and screw TG. You can do anything you want in Conceptual Dependency. You can parse anything you want into Conceptual Dependency. You can infer anything you want with Conceptual Dependency. Just write it in LISP, and use CD. Forget about Chomsky and syntax trees. You can generate anything you want from Conceptual Dependency. [Excepting syntax!] We can do anything you think at Cognitive Systems, Inc. We can do anything you think at Cognitive Systems, Inc. Just walk right in, it's around the block. You can be a customer or buy some stock. We can do anything you think at Cognitive Systems, Inc. \end{format} \end{document}