Message-ID: <9510276.1075857297467.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2000 08:11:00 -0800 (PST) From: chris.dorland@enron.com To: larry.jester@enron.com Subject: The result of the US election - This is very funny Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Chris Dorland X-To: Larry Jester X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Chris_Dorland_Dec2000\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: Dorland-C X-FileName: cdorlan.nsf ---------------------- Forwarded by Chris Dorland/HOU/ECT on 11/15/2000 04:13 PM --------------------------- Michael McDermott <Michael.McDermott@spectrongroup.com> on 11/15/2000 05:05:34 AM To: "'Alexis Dodin'" <alexis.dodin@total.com>, "'Angus Cowan'" <Angus.Cowan@royalbank.com>, "'B.K. Milne'" <MILNEB@CIBC.CA>, "'Bradley'" <bdaly@txuenergy.com>, "'Bryan Moody'" <bhmoody@hotmail.com>, "'Carlo & Sophia'" <carloandsophia@hotmail.com>, "'Catriona Work'" <cmcdermott@BrunswickGroup.com>, "'Chris Blaker'" <blakerc@beaucanada.com>, "'Chris del Valle'" <delvalle@aep.com>, "'Chris Dorland'" <Chris.Dorland@enron.com>, "'David Redmond'" <david.redmond@enron.com>, "'Francesco Cicoli-Abad'" <FRANCIC@statoil.com>, "'George Potter'" <george.potter@txu-europe.com>, "'Haakon Olafsson'" <haakon_olafsson@enron.net>, "'Jason Blaker'" <jason.blaker@nbpcd.com>, "'Jasvinder Pal Singh Badyal'" <J.Badyal@accord.co.uk>, "'Kent Brown'" <kbrown@arciscorp.com>, "'Kevin McElroy'" <kmcelroy@nuheat.com>, "'Lionel Greene'" <lgreene@sempratrading.com>, "'Nils'" <Nils_Edstrand@instinet.co.uk>, "'Rob Laird'" <rlaird@oebi.com>, "'Stefan van Riet'" <stefan.vanriet@gs.com>, "'Urvesh'" <urvesh.kotecha@pgen.com> cc: Subject: The result of the US election - This is very funny > > > >Not everyone can wait for the recount.. > > > > > >--------------------------------------------- > >NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE > > > >To the citizens of the United States of America, > > > >In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and > thus to > >govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your > >independence, effective today. > > > >Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial > duties > over > >all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which > she > >does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, > MP for > >the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a > world > >outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without > the need > >for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. > A > >questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any > of you > >noticed. > > > >To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the > following > rules > >are introduced with immediate effect: > > > >1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. > Then > >look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be > amazed > at > >just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you > should > raise > >your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using > the > >same > >twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" > and "you > >know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. > Look up > >"interspersed". > > > >2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft > know on > >your behalf. > > > >3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian > accents. It > >really isn't that hard. > > > >4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as > the > >good guys. > > > >5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The > Queen", > >but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to > get > >confused and give up half way through. > > > >6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one > kind of > >football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very > good > >game. > >The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your > borders > >may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You > will no > >longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper > football. > >Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a > >difficult > >game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play > rugby > >(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve > stopping > for > >a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like > >nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens > side > by > >2005. > > > >7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear > weapons if > >they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that > there > >is > >a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The > Russians > >have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit". > > > >8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a > new > >national holiday, but only in England. It will be called > "Indecisive > Day". > > > >9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for > your > >own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we > mean. > > > >10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. > > > >Thank you for your cooperation. > > > > > > > > > >Hugh Richards > >Senior Training Consultant - EMEA London > >Office: +44(0)207 786 3013 > >Fax: +44(0)207 786 3001 > >Mobile: +44(0)7720350706 > > > > > >S2 Systems International, Ltd. > >30 City Road > >London, EC1Y 2AY > >United Kingdom > > > > > >CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE > >The information contained in this transmission is confidential. It > may > also > >be legally privileged. It is intended only for the addressee(s) > stated > >above. If you are not an addressee you should not disclose, copy, > circulate > >or in any other way use the information contained in this > transmission. > >Such unauthorized use may be unlawful. If you have received this > >transmission in error, please telephone us immediately so that we > can > >arrange for its return. > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ > ___ > Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at > http://www.hotmail.com. > > Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at > http://profiles.msn.com.