Message-ID: <16763892.1075859055368.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Mon, 5 Feb 2001 18:13:00 -0800 (PST) From: tracy.geaccone@enron.com To: jon.trevelise@enron.com Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Tracy Geaccone X-To: Jon Trevelise X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \TGEACCO (Non-Privileged)\Geaccone, Tracy\'Sent Mail X-Origin: Geaccone-T X-FileName: TGEACCO (Non-Privileged).pst ---------------------- Forwarded by Tracy Geaccone/GPGFIN/Enron on 02/05/2001 02:20 PM --------------------------- "Jack Hurst" on 02/05/2001 01:29:01 PM To: "Wayne Guidry" , , "Lou and Kathleen Dionne" , "Hurst, Julie A" , "Dianne Costa" cc: Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story Hi Janet. This is hilarious! Jack ----- Original Message ----- From: "karellmd" To: "Janet Tanner" ; "Karen Key" ; "peggy berry" Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2001 11:09 PM Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Don & Awyn Combs" > To: "Jim & Glenna Loomis" > Cc: "Ray & Phyllis Barber" ; "Lowell & Karen Snyder" > ; "Marvin Thomas" ; "Katie Wirth" > > Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2001 9:29 PM > Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story > > > > > > > > ---------- > > From: Don Belden > > To: Ginnie Sperry > > Cc: John & Jean Sperry ; Frannie Davies > > ; Awyn&Don Combs ; Sondra Bolinger > > ; George Sperry ; Anne Sperry > > ; Robbie and Ben Sweiger ; Marge > > Belden > > Subject: FW: The Hamster Story > > Date: Sunday, February 04, 2001 5:30 PM > > > > Sister Barb sent this to me. T00 good not to share. > > > > Don > > -----Original Message----- > > From: CRAZO@aol.com [mailto:CRAZO@aol.com] > > Sent: Monday, January 22, 2001 6:15 PM > > To: RBeer@mediaone.net; patricib@flint.umich.edu; > > questrist@earthlink.net; delliestm@c-b.com; > > rderra@mediaone.net; CLGutowski@aol.com; > > k.hammon@NotesMail1.csuohio.edu; StephenHilker@cs.com; > > thissong@mail.adrian.k12.mi.us; RKOURTJIAN@prodigy.net; > > Mary2Earth@aol.com; AnthonyManna@aol.com; wmr@MNSi.Net; > > Joyin2it@aol.com; RReid@umich.edu; GSMITUB@aol.com; > > dvictory@raex.com > > Subject: Fwd: The Hamster Story > > > > > > " The Hamster Story" > > > > > > If you have raised kids, and gone through the pet > > > syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead > > > goldfish, the story below will have you > > > laughing out LOUD!!! This is a true story.... > > > > > > I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. > > > Here's what happened: > > > > > Just after dinner one night, my son came up > > > to tell me there was "something wrong" with > > > one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner > > > in his room. > > > "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. > > > > > > "Oldest trick in the book, son," I informed him. > > > "You go in to see what's wrong with > > > the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind > > > you and bonks you on the head. > > > Then they change into your clothes and > > > escape." > > > > > > "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" > > > > > > I put my best hamster-healer expression > > > on my face and followed him into his > > > bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed > > > lying on his back, looking distressed. > > > I immediately knew what to do. Call the > > > professional. > > > > > > "Honey," I called, "come look at the > > > hamster!" > > > > > > "Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. > > > "She's having babies." > > > > > > "What?" my son demanded. > > > > > > "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" > > > > > > I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? > > > I thought we said we didn't want > > > them to reproduce," I accused my wife. > > > > > > "Well, what did you want me to do, post a > > > sign in their cage?" she inquired. > > > (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) > > > > > > "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" > > > I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet > > > voice). > > > > > > "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. > > > > > > "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some > > > guys," she informed me. > > > (Again with the sarcasm, you think?) > > > > > > By now the rest of the family had gathered to > > > see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding > > > to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to > > > be a wondrous experience," I announced. > > > "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." > > > > > > "OH, Gross!", they shrieked. > > > > > > "Well, isn't THAT just Great!" what are we going > > > to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" > > > my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was > > > being snotty here, too. Don't you?) > > > > > > "Well, when my parents' dogs had puppies, I took > > > them up to the grocery store in a cardboard box > > > and gave them away," I recalled. > > > > > > "So what are you going to do, go up with a pair > > > of tweezers so people can pick out their hamster?" > > > she asked. (Gotta love her!) > > > > > > We peered at the patient. After much struggling, > > > what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, > > > vanishing a scant second later. > > > > > > "We don't appear to be making much progress," I > > > noted. > > > > > > "A breech birth," my wife whispered, horrified. > > > > > > "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. > > > > > > "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and > > > grabbed the foot when it next appeared, > > > giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. > > > I tried again, with the same results. > > > > > > "Should I dial 911?" my eldest daughter > > > wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through > > > the trauma." (You see a pattern here with my > > > females?) > > > > > > "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. > > > We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage > > > in his lap. > > > > > > "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. > > > "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother > > > noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own > > > young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, > > > but this boy is "of her womb", for God's sake.) > > > > > > The vet took Ernie back to the examining room > > > and peered at the little animal through a > > > magnifying glass. > > > > > > "What do you think, Doc, an epidermal?" > > > I suggested scientifically. > > > > > > "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. > > > "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you > > > privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding > > > for my son to step outside. > > > > > > "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. > > > > > > "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This > > > hamster is not in labor. In fact, > > > that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a > > > boy." > > > > > > "What!?" > > > > > > "You see, Ernie is a young male. > > > And occasionally, as they come into > > > maturity, male hamsters will, > > > master, er, er, ah..." He blushed, > > > glancing at my wife. > > > > > > "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." > > > > > > We were silent, absorbing this. > > > "So Ernie's just ... just > > > ...Excited?", my wife offered. > > > > > > "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved > > > that we understood. More silence. > > > Then my lovely wife started to giggle. > > > And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. > > > > > > What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but > > > not believing that the woman I married would > > > commit the upcoming affront to my > > > flawless Manliness. > > > > > > Tears were now running down her face. "Just ... > > > that ...I'm picturing you > > > pulling on its ... its ... teeny little ... " > > > she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter > > > once more. > > > > > "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the > > > Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters > > > and our son back into the car. He was glad > > > everything was goingto be okay. > > > > > > "I know Ernie's really thankful for what > > > you've done, Dad," he told me. > > > > > > "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, > > > collapsing into laughter as I gave > > > her a dirty look. > > > > >