Message-ID: <18009188.1075855577190.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2000 22:31:00 -0800 (PST) From: juan.hernandez@enron.com To: miguel.garcia@enron.com Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Juan Hernandez X-To: Miguel L Garcia X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Juan_Hernandez_Jun2001\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: Hernandez-J X-FileName: jhernan3.nsf ---------------------- Forwarded by Juan Hernandez/Corp/Enron on 11/27/2000 06:25 AM --------------------------- "jrh.texas" on 09/02/2000 04:52:27 PM To: juan.hernandez@enron.com cc: Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... -----Original Message----- From: Danny Haskin To: 'Juan Hernandez' Date: Tuesday, May 04, 1999 8:12 AM Subject: RE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... >a lot of this stuff can be titled:You know you're black if,,,, > >> -----Original Message----- >> From: Juan Hernandez [SMTP:purogallo@email.msn.com] >> Sent: Monday, May 03, 1999 8:09 PM >> To: jhernan@columbiaenergy.com; dannyh@calpine.com >> Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... >> >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: KPolt@aol.com >> To: Laura Hernandez ; LKefgen@aol.com >> ; Cat26grp@aol.com ; D1730@aol.com >> ; PAPA1039@aol.com ; BASNBoyz@aol.com >> >> Date: Friday, April 30, 1999 6:29 PM >> Subject: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... >> >> >> >> YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... >> >> You have ever been spanked with chanclas. >> You have later been spanked with the plancha chord. >> You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas >> on >> the linoleum floor. >> Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you >> only >> live in a one bedroom apartment. >> You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas. >> You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing. >> You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii". >> You go to the Pulga or Swapmeet every weekend for gear. >> You go to a function and judge the women's fashions (wearing a sequence >> butterfly print top you got from the pulga.) >> You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the >> living room. >> You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every >> inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or >> elephant in your livingroom. >> You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas. >> You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by >> drinking it. >> You have a perpetually drunk uncle. >> You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house. >> You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, >> Juan, >> Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis. >> You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell >> people he's your tio. >> Your mother, tia, or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a >> burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous. >> You call: rug -carpeta; roof - rufo; parking - parking, libreria instead >> of >> biblioteca- or to knock - knockiar and chips-ruffles. >> You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager. >> You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a >> cold. >> Your tia Chencha thinks that silver banana clips are on Vogue's hot list >> for >> hair. >> You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, >> but >> be the first to take a plato to go. >> You drink all beer with limon and salt. >> Your sister has more mustache hair than your father. >> One of your aunts or mom weighs over 300 pounds. >> Your cousins are delinquents/hootchies. >> You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a >> house. >> You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day. >> Your uncle owns more gold than that jewelry shop down the street. >> You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night. >> You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious. >> Your mom made you put lettuce under your bed the night before Three King's >> Day so that the camels had something to eat and they leave you a gift in >> return. >> Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day. >> You need to point out how much something you just bought cost. >> You can dance merengue, cumbias and salsa without music. >> You go to at least 3 weddings a year. >> You use manteca instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your ass is >> getting bigger. >> You go to a white friends house for dinner and dont understand the concept >> of >> sitting at a table. >> You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it. >> You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now. >> You have a picture of -Jesucristo- in your house. >> You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point >> if >> one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe). >> You go to Church on Easter, Christmas and New Years just to see what >> everyone >> is wearing and find out all the latest chisme. >> You're an adult and you're still forced to be with your family at >> 12midnight >> on New Years Eve. >> You walk around saying -chacho-,-chacha-,-ay bendito- or -Buey-. >> You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst." >> You drive a Cheby- (Chevy),an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon >> (VolksWagon) >> You call your sneakers -tenis- . >> Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend. >> You have at least thirty cousins. >> You start clapping when your plane lands on the runway. >> And last, but not least... >> Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything. >> >> VIVA LatinoAmerica! >> >> >>