Message-ID: <25279167.1075860858632.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2002 07:04:14 -0800 (PST) From: kevin.hyatt@enron.com To: bruce.tuttle@enron.com, lorraine.lindberg@enron.com, tk.lohman@enron.com, julie.armstrong@enron.com, susan.wadle@enron.com Subject: FW: Fw: one liners Cc: lmfoust@aol.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Bcc: lmfoust@aol.com X-From: Hyatt, Kevin X-To: Tuttle, Bruce , Lindberg, Lorraine , Lohman, TK , Armstrong, Julie , Wadle, Susan X-cc: 'lmfoust@aol.com' X-bcc: X-Folder: \Kevin_Hyatt_Mar2002\Hyatt, Kevin\Deleted Items X-Origin: Hyatt-K X-FileName: khyatt (Non-Privileged).pst > > >Subject: one liners > > > > >Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. > >The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in high school was my blood alcohol >content. > >Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody listens to you >anyway. > >I live in my own little world, but it's OK...they know me here. > >"I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it." >I said, "Thyroid problem?'" > >"I got a sweater for Christmas... >I wanted a screamer or a moaner." > >I see your IQ test results were negative. > >Regular naps prevent old age..... >especially if you take them while driving. > >Sex is hereditary. >If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. > >If God had intended for man to use the metric system, >Jesus would have only had ten disciples! > >I don't approve of political jokes... >I've seen too many of them get elected. > >I have learned there is little difference in wives, >so you might as well keep the first. > >There are two sides to every divorce: >Yours and shithead's. > >If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; >if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. > >Travel is very educational. >I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages. > >I love being married. >It's so great to find that one special person >you want to annoy for the rest of your life. > >Save Your Breath... >You'll need it to blow up your date! > >I married my wife for her looks... >but not the ones she's been giving me lately! > >"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've >stayed alive." > >Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted >condom? > >"No one ever says 'It's only a game,' when their team is winning." > >I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18. > >Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, >you have to pay someone to look at you naked. > >"If carrots are so good for the eyes, >how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" > >"How come we choose from just two people for president >and 50 for Miss America?" > >On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. >There I was, surrounded by trees and bushes. > >Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. > >Marriage changes passion... >suddenly you're in bed with a relative. > >Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? > >I mixed Rogaine with Viagra... >now I've got hair like Don King. > >I just got back from a pleasure trip: >I drove my mother-in-law to the airport! > >My wife and I were happy for twenty years... >then we met. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com _____ Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :