Message-ID: <8465238.1075860859044.JavaMail.evans@thyme>
Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2002 08:39:30 -0800 (PST)
From: pjohara@netzero.net
To: jwalk@futuresouth.com, stanford@enron.com, stanfors@fleishman.com, 
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Subject: Fw: How (not) to speak English Properly
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> Subject: How (not) to speak English Properly 
> 
> 
> > 1.  Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
> > 2.  Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
> > 3.  And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
> > 4.  It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
> > 5.  Avoid cliches like the plague.  (They're old hat)
> > 6.  Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
> > 7.  Be more or less specific.
> > 8.  Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
> > unnecessary.
> > 9.  Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
> > 10.  No sentence fragments.
> > 11.  Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
> > 12.  Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
> > 13.  Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary;
> > it's highly superfluous.
> > 14.  One should NEVER generalize.
> > 15.  Comparisons are as bad as cliches
> > 16.  Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.,
> > 17.  One-word sentences?  Eliminate.
> > 18.  Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
> > 19.  The passive voice is to be ignored.
> > 20.  Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.  Parenthetical
> > words however should be enclosed in commas.
> > 21.  Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
> > 22.  Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
> > 23.  Understatement is always the absolute best way to put
> > forth earth-shaking ideas.
> > 24.  Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I
> > hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
> > 25.  If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
> > Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it
> > correctly.
> > 26.  Puns are for children, not groan readers.
> > 27.  Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
> > 28.  Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
> > 29.  Who needs rhetorical questions?
> > 30.  Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
> > 
> > And the last one...
> > 
> > 31.  Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
> > 
> > 
> 
> 

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