Message-ID: <7809166.1075861770422.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Fri, 26 Oct 2001 06:57:32 -0700 (PDT) From: kevin.hyatt@enron.com To: e-mail <.c.@enron.com>, e-mail <.david@enron.com>, e-mail <.jeffery@enron.com>, e-mail <.joe@enron.com>, john.millar@enron.com, e-mail <.kirk@enron.com>, e-mail <.marc@enron.com>, e-mail <.sashe@enron.com>, e-mail <.scott@enron.com> Subject: FW: Message from a Hawg Driver (A-10 Warthog) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Hyatt, Kevin X-To: C. Thomas Kruse (E-mail) , David Roensch (E-mail) , Jeffery Fawcett (E-mail) , Joe Haller (E-mail) , Millar, John , Kirk Munden (E-mail) , Marc Eschenburg (E-mail) , Sashe Dimitroff (E-mail) , Scott Walker (E-mail) X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \KHYATT (Non-Privileged)\Hyatt, Kevin\Sent Items X-Origin: Hyatt-K X-FileName: KHYATT (Non-Privileged).pst >This is pretty good. God Bless the U.S. Air Force! >Subject: Message from a Hawg Driver (A-10 Warthog) > >(Someone pulled this off the Air Force Academy's {very >unofficial}message board. Written by a '96 grad who apparently flies >A-10s. What we all are REALLY thinking, but a HOG driver says it.) > >"Make no mistake about it... this war is gonna be a Hawgdriver's dream...no >more of this sending GPS guided bombs from the ionosphere... I want to camp >out on the enemy's border... I want to yell across the border, in the >immortal words of Wyatt Earp (as portrayed by Kurt Russell), "You tell 'em >I'm coming! AND HELL'S COMING WITH ME!!" > >I wanna punch Bin Laden in the face and say, 'You gonna do something? Or >just stand there and bleed?' And then, I wanna laugh maniacally, as my 30mm >shells decimate his camps. > >I ain't talking about the Armor Piercing shells this time, although the >thought of poisoning their lungs (if, in the unlikely event, they survived >my attack) with the dirty dust of spent uranium is quite refreshing... that >would make the cloud over New York seem like pure Oxygen. > >I want High Explosive Incendiary (HEI) rounds...1150 of them, fired 2 or 3 >hundred at a time... like 3 hundred grenades exploding all at once... and >that's just my jet... the three coming with me brings that total to 16 cans >of CBU-87...that's 3,232 individual submunitions for them...that's what I >want. > >I want 4 Maverick missiles per jet...that's 16 of those things...and if we >run outta trucks and other small things to hit with those missiles, I wanna >find out what a maverick will do when it locks onto a terrorist and hits him >at just over 1000 feet per second...there might not be enough deceleration >to detonate the thing but at that speed... I don't think it would be >necessary. > >And I want 2 pods of rockets, hanging from my wings. Seven white phosphorous >and seven HEI... I want the 'Willie Petes' to put a cloud of smoke, to climb >into the sky, to let everyone following know...that's where the gettin' is >good... > >And the HEI... well, I just want FRAG in the air, tearing apart their >greasy, scumbag bodies the same way they tore into our nation... and then >we'll start cleaning up with the almighty General Electric GAU-8/A Avenger >cannon... what a perfect name... AVENGER CANNON!!! > >If that's all I had, that's all I'd want... four hawgs, with 4600 of our >little friends... lock and load, hammer down!!!!! > >But that's just my personal end... here's what else I want...I want John >Madden, Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long, to take over CNN, NBC, ABC and every >other news network, to provide coverage of this war... > >I want Madden, with his electronic chalkboard, out there describing what's >going on... "You see here, across the top of the screen, that ridge line is >exactly where the attack is gonna come from... you'll see the Warthawgs come >popping over them and unleash a fury that we haven't seen since Lawrence >Taylor was on the prowl...Speaking of that, here they come and BAM!!! These >guys are great!... they remind me of linemen... they don't get much press >coverage, but when they hit you,man do you know it!" > >I want Hank Williams, Jr. and Lee Greenwood belting out, "I'M PROUD TO BE AN >AMERICAN," as the intro to "Monday Night Air Strikes"..."Fight night" would >have a whole new meaning now...I want to see Sports Center air, the "HIT OF >THE DAY":..."Today's strike comes from a flight of two A-10 Warthogs.. >You'll see here that some terrorist got > >the wild idea that he could shoot at these guys...you can see the missile >come up and totally miss the two jets... and here, you see, as they roll in >and unleash that awesome gun on the point of origin,...nothing left there >now! And that's our, PLAY OF THE DAY!!" > >I want Mills Lane, in the field, giving play by play descriptions. > >I want "Flight of the Valkaries" playing at full bore, from every >mountainside, as we run in at 100 feet.... > >I want "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE," playing after the first bomb hits, and when >I'm WINCHESTER ammunition, I wanna land on Bin Laden's personal airstrip, >grab him by his twisted, dead neck and poke him in the eyes and say, "YOU >JUST GOT KNOCKED OUT!" > >I want the NFL cheerleaders to send us off to war, and the XFL cheerleaders >to welcome us home. And while we're at it? I don't just want to beat the >crap outta these scumbags, I want to humiliate them, too. > >I want to see Schwartzkopf come outta retirement, to start kicking some >butt... I want a cure for Alzheimer's - right now - to get Reagan back in >working order, and like Dennis Leary says, I want a cure for cancer, to >thaw out the 'Duke' and see just how pissed off he is right now. > >I want STUKA terror sirens, mounted to the wings of my Hawg...although the >unique whine of our engines is about all the terror siren we'll need right >now... > >All right, Zero... slow down... breathe... in... out....ok... I think the >coffee has worn off a bit now, and I should get back to work. You just >picked the wrong people to mess with...not such a good day to be a bad guy."