Message-ID: <7328628.1075860873122.JavaMail.evans@thyme>
Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2002 09:48:17 -0800 (PST)
From: kevin.hyatt@enron.com
To: leslieyoung5000@yahoo.com
Subject: Kids
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-----Original Message-----
From: Nanna928@aol.com [mailto:Nanna928@aol.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2002 12:27 PM
To: dma39@msn.com
Subject: (no subject)



CHILDREN 

> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our 
own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students....  here is 
something 
to make you chuckle. 
> 
> Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from 
the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own 
children. 
> 
> After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.  And the 
> first thing he said was, "Don't." 
> 
> "Don't what?" Adam replied. 
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. 
> "Forbidden fruit?  We have forbidden fruit?  Hey, Eve..  .  we have 
> forbidden fruit!" 
> "No way!" 
> "Yes, way!" 
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. 
> "Why?" 
> 
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why 
He Hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants).  A few minutes 
> later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked! 
> 
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent, 
> asked? 
> "Uh huh," Adam replied. 
> "Then why did you?" asked the Father. 
> "I don't know," said Eve. 
> "She started it!" Adam said, "Did not!" 
> "Did too!" 
> "DID NOT! 
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and 
> Eve should have children of their own. 
> Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! 
> But there is reassurance in this story.  If you have persistently and 
> lovingly tried to give children wisdom, and they haven't taken it, 
don't be hard on yourself.  If God had trouble raising children, what 
makes 
> you think it would be a piece of cake for you? 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension, and you get a 
> headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 
> "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> CHILDREN You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to 
walk and talk.  Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and 
> shut-up. 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for 
> word what you shouldn't have said. 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself 
> that there are children more awful than your own. 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in! 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
> Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home >>