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Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2001 07:26:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: dan.hyvl@enron.com
To: stacy.dickson@enron.com, becky.spencer@enron.com, nbutler@susmangodfrey.com
Subject: Fw: Stupid is as Stupid Does
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Don't know if this is true but it's still funny!



Subject: Stupid is as Stupid Does


> This could be possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a
> bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
> Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true
> story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
>
>  Dear Sir
>
>  "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
> Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of
> my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
> details will be sufficient.
>
>  I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone
> on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found
> that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
be
> slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,
I
> decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to
> the side of the building on the sixth floor.
>
>  Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel
> out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
> holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note
in
> Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.
>
>  Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
> presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
> proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
> the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an
> equal, impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor
> abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the
accident
> report form.
>
>  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
> fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
> Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to
> hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
> of pain.
>
>  At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
> ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
> the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to
> my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
the
> building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
> This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
> lacerations of my legs and lower body.
>
>  Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed
> to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of
bricks
> and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
> however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I
> again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I
> lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
> This explains the two broken legs.
>
>  I hope this answers your inquiry."
> Tony C.
>
>