Message-ID: <6144894.1075858254688.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Tue, 17 Apr 2001 01:31:00 -0700 (PDT) From: phillip.love@enron.com To: patrick.ryder@enron.com, bruce.mills@enron.com, kevin.bosse@enron.com, jimmy.simien@enron.com, darron.giron@enron.com, kyle.lilly@enron.com, rachel.bonilla-kragel@accenture.com, shane.dobbs@fctg.com, rmwongozi@hotmail.com, esmith@kanekatexas.com, jmjaked@mindspring.com, tarm27@texas.net Subject: Fwd: FW: Flying High Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Phillip M Love X-To: Patrick Ryder, Bruce Mills, Kevin Bosse, Jimmy Simien, Darron C Giron, Kyle R Lilly, rachel.bonilla-kragel@accenture.com @ ENRON, Shane.Dobbs@fctg.com @ ENRON, rmwongozi@hotmail.com, "Smith, Everett" @ ENRON, "Jason Dobbs" @ ENRON, "tarek morshed" @ ENRON X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Phillip_Love_Jun2001\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: Love-P X-FileName: plove.nsf ---------------------- Forwarded by Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT on 04/17/2001 08:19 AM --------------------------- "James Love" on 04/17/2001 06:09:55 AM To: cc: Subject: Fwd: FW: Flying High Received: from quantum.quantum-intl.com by msl.redstone.army.mil; Mon, 16 Apr 2001 14:56:45 -0500 Received: by quantum.quantum-intl.com with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2448.0) id <2XMXL2CC>; Mon, 16 Apr 2001 14:46:33 -0500 Message-ID: From: "Dowling, Edmund" To: "James Love (E-mail)" , "Jim Burton (E-mail)" , "Nick Nickerson (E-mail)" Subject: FW: Flying High Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 14:45:08 -0500 MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2448.0) Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Edmund A. Dowling Quantum Research International Phone: (256) 971-1800 ext 246 Cell: (256) 653-2599 -----Original Message----- From: Deeter, Louis Sent: Monday, April 16, 2001 1:07 PM To: bec126@aol.com; lindee2@aol.com; hdeeter1@aol.com; Liza.Puterman@pentagon.af.mil; wdeaton@earthlink.net; Vaughn, Mark; Dowling, Edmund; Sinclair, Bob; Suter, Denise; Taylor, Candace L Ms; Jones, Frederick; Deaton, Phillip Subject: Flying High > All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight >safety lecture and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. >Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: > >~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, pilot >said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be >turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to > enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > On landing the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all your >belongings. If you are going to leave anything please make sure it's >something we'd like to have." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out >of this airplane." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving >us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a >lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when >opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure >as hell everything has shifted." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > >From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX >to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, >and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't >know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public >unsupervised." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from >the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If >you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before > assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small >child...pick your favorite. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but >we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, >nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an >emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our >compliments." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead >area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting >children... or other adults acting like children." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. >Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight >attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > "Last one off the plane must clean it." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~ > > And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines is pleased >to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, >none of them are on this flight!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake >City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a >bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't > the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight >attendant's fault ... it was the asphalt!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a >particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was >really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight >Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain >in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's >left of our airplane to the gate!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask >you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the >terminal." > >~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his >ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required >the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, > and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of >his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, >thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had > gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, >"Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, >"what is it?" The little old lady asked, "Did we land or were we shot >down?" > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on >with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.Crash >and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against > the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are >silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the >wreckage to the terminal." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank >you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane >urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope >you'll think of US Airways." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a >comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the >intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to >Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead >is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now >sit back and relax -- OH MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, >the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am >so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight >attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. >You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's >nothing, he should see the back of mine!" >