Message-ID: <19585516.1075842625737.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Tue, 7 Nov 2000 05:50:00 -0800 (PST) From: gerald.nemec@enron.com To: eric.gillaspie@enron.com Subject: Chili Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Gerald Nemec X-To: Eric Gillaspie X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Gerald_Nemec_Dec2000_June2001_1\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: NEMEC-G X-FileName: gnemec.nsf ----- Forwarded by Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT on 11/07/2000 01:50 PM ----- Brian Hendon@ENRON COMMUNICATIONS 11/06/2000 05:52 PM To: Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: Chili ----- Forwarded by Brian Hendon/Enron Communications on 11/06/00 05:58 PM ----- Tom Huntington 11/06/00 05:41 PM To: Lex Carroll/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Peter Heintzelman/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, rob_mcdonald@enron.net, Brian Spector/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Ethan Schultz/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Stephen Thome/HOU/ECT@ECT, David Reinfeld/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, John McPherson/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Brian Hendon/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Robert Cooper/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Jay Hawthorn/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Richard Schneider/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Bryan Garrett/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Grant Zimmerman/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, squishy@hotmail.com cc: Subject: Chili >From: "Evan Betzer" >To: tomhuntington@hotmail.com >Subject: Fwd: Texas >Date: Mon, 06 Nov 2000 13:50:32 CST > > > > >>From: "Keith" >>To: "Merry Mathes" , "Sarah Clark" , >>"Evan" , "Jeff" , >>"Yan" , "Steve Miao" , "CB" >>, "Mickey Mericle" >>Subject: Texas >>Date: Mon, 6 Nov 2000 16:09:07 +0800 >> >>Too funny not to share.... >> >> >> >>INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER >> >> >> >> >> >>These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named FRANK, who was >> >> >>visiting Texas from New Jersey and fell into it: >> >> >> >> >> >>"Recently I was lucky enough to be the 10,000th attendee at the State >> >> >>Fair in Texas, and was asked to fill in to be a judge >> >> >>at a chili cook-off. Apparently the original judge #3 called in sick at >> >> >>the last moment, and I happened to be standing >> >> >>there when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges >> >> >>(Native Texans) that it would be a fun event and a true >> >> >>taste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that the chili wouldn't be >> >> >>all that spicy, and besides they told me I could >> >> >>have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the >> >> >>scorecards from the event: >> >> >> >> >> >>Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. >> >> >>FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried >> >> >>paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers >> >> >>to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are >> >> >>crazy. >> >> >> >> >> >>Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken >> >> >>seriously. >> >> >>FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am >> >> >>supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two >> >> >>people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to >> >> >>walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face. >> >> >> >> >> >> Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers. >> >> >>FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I >> >> >> >> >> >>have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the >> >> >>routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in >> >> >>the front part of my chest. 'm getting shit-faced. >> >> >> >> >> >> Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or >> >> >>other mild foods, not much of a chili. >> >> >>FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to >> >> >>taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me >> >> >>with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just >> >> >>like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. >> >> >> >> >> >>Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding >> >> >>considerable kick. Very impressive. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit >> >> >> >> >> >>the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. >> >> >>FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted >> >> >> >> >> >>and four people behind me needed paramedics. The >> >> >>contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me >> >> >>brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding >> >> >>by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off >> >> >>that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. >> >> >>Screw those rednecks! >> >> >> >> >> >> Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of >> >> >>spice and peppers. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. >> >> >>Superb. >> >> >>FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, >> >> >>sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me >> >> >>except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! >> >> >> >> >> >>Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of >> >> >>chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I >> >> >>am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress >> >> >>as he is cursing uncontrollably. >> >> >>FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I >>wouldn't >> >> >> >> >> >>feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, >> >> >>and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is >> >> >>covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. >> >> >>My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least >> >> >>during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've >> >> >>decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting >> >> >>any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck >> >> >>it in through the 4inch hole in my stomach. >> >> >> >> >> >> Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili >> >> >> >> >> >>JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, >> >> >>not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. >> >> >>JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor >> >> >>hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when >> >> >>Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of >> >> >>himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank. >> >> >>FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable To report) >> >> >> >> > _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com.