Message-ID: <32910447.1075842778158.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 05:46:00 -0800 (PST) From: gerald.nemec@enron.com To: bswaldrop@aol.com, paul.pfeffer@bakerbotts.com Subject: FW: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Gerald Nemec X-To: bswaldrop@aol.com, Paul.Pfeffer@bakerbotts.com X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Gerald_Nemec_Dec2000_June2001_2\Notes Folders\All documents X-Origin: NEMEC-G X-FileName: gnemec.nsf ----- Forwarded by Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT on 03/28/2001 01:45 PM ----- Brian Hendon/ENRON@enronXgate 03/28/2001 12:39 PM To: Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: FW: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women -----Original Message----- From: karmstrong6 [mailto:karmstrong6@hotmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2001 2:12 AM To: brian.hendon Subject: Fwd: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women >From: "Kristy Carnes" >To: >Subject: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women >Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 19:56:04 -0600 > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: Fnl1038@aol.com >To: Wildroseto@aol.com >Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 5:34 PM >Subject: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women > > > > > > > >Oil Changing Instructions for Women: > > > > > > > > > >1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the >last > > oil change. > > > > > > > > > >2) Drink a cup of coffee. > > > > > > > > > >3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly >maintained vehicle. > > > > > > > > > >Money spent: > > > > > > > > > >$20.00 for oil change $1.00 for coffee > > > > > > > > > >Total = $21.00 > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >Oil Change Instructions for Men: > > > > > > > > > >1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50.00 for >oil, > > > >filter, kitty Litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree. > > > > > > > > > >2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking >it > > > >back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. > > > > > > > > > >3) Open a beer and drink it. > > > > > > > > > >4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. > > > > > > > > > >5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. > > > > > > > > > >6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. > > > > > > > > > >7) Place drain pan under engine. > > > > > > > > > >8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. > > > > > > > > > >9) Give up and use crescent wrench. > > > > > > > > > >10) Unscrew drain plug. > > > > > > > > > >11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in >process. > > > > > > > > > >12) Clean up mess. > > > > > > > > > >13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. > > > > > > > > > >14) Look for oil filter wrench. > > > > > > > > > >15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off. > > > > > > > > > >16) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change > > > > >tomorrow. > > > > > > > > > >18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil outfrom underneath car. > > > > > > > > > >19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. > > > > > > > > > >20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. > > > > > > > > > >21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. > > > > > > > > > >22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil >to > > > >gasket surface. > > > > > > > > > >23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. > > > > > > > > > >24) Remember drain plug from step 11. > > > > > > > > > >25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. > > > > > > > > > >26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back >yard, > > > >along with drain plug. > > > > > > > > > >27) Drink beer. > > > > > > > > > >28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug. > > > > > > > > > >29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. > > > > > > > > > >30) Drink beer. > > > > > > > > > >31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on >frame. > > > > > > > > > >32) Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 31. > > > > > > > > > >33) Begin cussing fit. > > > > > > > > > >34) Throw wrench. > > > > > > > > > >35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December > > > >(1992) in her overabundant chest. > > > > > > > > > >36) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop >blood > > > >flow. > > > > > > > > > >38) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >39) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. > > > > > > > > > >41) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >42) Lower car from jack stands. > > > > > > > > > >43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands. > > > > > > > > > >44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled > > during step 23. > > > > > > > > > >45) Beer. > > > > > > > > > >46) Test drive car. > > > > > > > > > >47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. > > > > > > > > > >48) Car gets impounded. > > > > > > > > > >49) Make bail: Get car from impound yard. > > > > > > > > > >Money spent: > > > > > > > > > >$50.00 parts > > > > >$25.00 beer > > > > >$75.00 replacement set of jack stands > > > > >$1,000.00 Bail > > > > >$200.00 Impound and towing fee > > > > > > > > > >Total=$1350.00 > > > _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com