Message-ID: <2052101.1075841374597.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 07:05:11 -0800 (PST) From: chet_fenner@bmc.com To: e-mail <.brad@enron.com>, joe.parks@enron.com, e-mail <.todd@enron.com>, e-mail <.erik@enron.com>, e-mail <.chad@enron.com>, e-mail <.brian@enron.com> Subject: FW: Breaking news.......... Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Fenner, Chet X-To: Brad Corrier (E-mail) , Parks, Joe , Todd C. Feder (E-mail) , Erik Wollam (E-mail) , Chad Knipe (E-mail) , Brian Constantine (E-mail) X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Parks, Joe\Deleted Items X-Origin: PARKS-J X-FileName: joe parks 6-26-02.pst > Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," > Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis > of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that > stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his > State of the Union address. > > Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis > as having,for starters, a really dumb name. > > "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North > Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils, > best at being evil, we're the best." > > Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, > although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of > Evil. > > "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. > > "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi > President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In > World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. > So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked > cool." > > THE AXIS PANDEMIC > International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was > swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. > > Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate > status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, > and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing > Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally > Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of > Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable. > > With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs > filling up,Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be > called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly > Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia > formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But > Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, > and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed > to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. > > "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said > Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. > > While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps > making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, > although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries > Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing > a false application. > > Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. > > > >