Message-ID: <6422909.1075841473701.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2002 08:17:39 -0800 (PST) From: cooper.richey@enron.com To: jhawker@petersco.com Subject: FW: Fw: sorry....I can't risk any odds Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Richey, Cooper X-To: 'jhawker@petersco.com' X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Richey, Cooper\Sent Items X-Origin: RICHEY-C X-FileName: cooper richey 6-26-02.PST -----Original Message----- From: "Johnston, Corinna" @ENRON Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 9:03 AM To: Cyr, Denis; Chad Stoddard (E-mail); Daniel Hewitt (E-mail); Parks, Cory; Richey, Cooper; Barrett, David; Tannahill, Greg; Michelleb64 (E-mail) Subject: FW: Fw: sorry....I can't risk any odds -----Original Message----- From: Corinna J [mailto:corinna624@hotmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2002 1:08 PM To: corinna.johnston@intria.com Subject: Fwd: Fw: sorry....i can't risk any odds [IMAGE] Wishing you all the best this Holiday Season [IMAGE] >From: Aldean >To: Jason , Dawn , "D.JONSON" , Corinna Johnston , cailly11@hotmail.com >Subject: Fw: sorry....i can't risk any odds >Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2002 23:14:13 -0800 > > >----- Original Message ----- >From: "Whalen, Shelley" >To: "Cindy Newman (E-mail)" ; "Cory. Clark (E-mail)" >; "Debbie Axford (E-mail)" ; >"Ken Clarke (E-mail)" >Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2002 10:20 AM >Subject: FW: > > > > TOP 9 SEX JOKES > > > > # 9 > > A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he > > turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman > > beside him > > and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled > > and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know > > you'll > > forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm > > in room 1221." > > > > # 8 > > A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" > > the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the > > young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first > > blowjob." > > "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, > > sir, but if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will." > > > > #7 > > A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to > > an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices > > she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it > > and > > she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. > > It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and > > Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is >Jill. > > What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you." > > > > # 6 > > One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his > > wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over >and > > says: > > "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I > > want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to > > sleep. A > > few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This >time > > he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow >too?" > > > > # 5 > > Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a > > number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he >had > > a > > terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle > > slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk > > about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to > > overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came > > home > > absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was > > seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that >I > > told > > you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle > > slicer?" > > "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I > > got > > fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" > > "Oh...she got fired too." > > > > # 4 > > A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma > > for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead > > of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs > > out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he > > should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The >man > > goes > > in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the > > doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will > > wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be > > embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, > > white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asks > > what > > happened to which the man replies: "She choked." > > > > # 3 > > A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the > > alligator up on the bar. He turns to the stonished patrons. "I'll make > > you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals >inside. > > Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open >his > > mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this > > spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their > > approval. > > The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his >privates > > in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd > > gasped. > > After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator > > hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man > > removed > > his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of >his > > free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another >offer. > > "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over > > the > > crowd. > > After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly > > spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head > > with > > the beer bottle." > > > > # 2 > > A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a > > huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon > > the > > small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 > > pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy > > faints!! > > The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, > > slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's > > wrong?". > > The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big > > black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 > > inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner > > Brown." > > The small white guy says, "Thank God, I thought you said 'Turn > > around.'" > > > > # 1 > > There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were > > sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said >to > > his > > wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she > > replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this > > breakfast > > table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting >here > > naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do >you > > say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and > > sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady > > breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were > > fifty years > > ago." > > "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and > > the other is in your oatmeal!!!! > > > > *You must send this to 5 people or you will never get laid again.* > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com .