Message-ID: <12386874.1075857087537.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 07:07:00 -0800 (PST) From: andrea.ring@enron.com To: robin.barbe@enron.com Subject: Fwd: Fw: Funny Kid Stories Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ANSI_X3.4-1968 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Andrea Ring X-To: Robin Barbe X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Andrea_Ring_Jun2001\Notes Folders\Sent X-Origin: Ring-A X-FileName: aring.nsf These are so cute! ---------------------- Forwarded by Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT on 02/14/2001 03:07 PM --------------------------- From: Karen D McIlvoy 02/14/2001 08:37 AM To: sandy_m_bramanti@reliantenergy.com cc: (bcc: Andrea Ring/HOU/ECT) Subject: Fwd: Fw: Funny Kid Stories ?IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE, JUST ASK THE KIDS A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can ?wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus. ??????_________________ A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, ?"Did God throw him back down?" ???____________________ After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had." ?____________________ A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," ?the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" ?____________________ A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"... ?____________________ A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it ?closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!" ?____________________ Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. ?Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." ?____________________ A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" ?____________________ A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother,"There were 2 boy kittens and ?2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." ?____________________ Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe ?was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only ?feet I got!." ?____________________ On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the ?room asked, "How will that help?" ?____________________ A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." Return-Path: Received: from rly-za01.mx.aol.com (rly-za01.mail.aol.com [172.31.36.97]) by air-za02.mail.aol.com (v77_r1.21) with ESMTP; Tue, 06 Feb 2001 12:14:53 -0500 Received: from ns.waymark.net (ns.waymark.net [207.18.144.2]) by rly-za01.mx.aol.com (v77.27) with ESMTP; Tue, 06 Feb 2001 12:14:17 -0500 Received: from 0019283281 (ip148.dallas1.tx.waymark.net [206.176.137.148]) by ns.waymark.net (8.11.1/8.11.1) with SMTP id f16HDY028305; Tue, 6 Feb 2001 11:13:35 -0600 (CST) Message-ID: <003c01c09070$eced85a0$9489b0ce@0019283281> From: "Steve Bradish" To: "Wagner (work), Ken" , "Stenstrom, Milt and Stella" , "Richard Bussell" , "Perry Max" , , , "Hall, Ralph and Judy" , "Ghyst, Norm" , "Wantland, Allen and Dixie" , "Childress, Kevin and Kate" , "Porter, Amy and John" , "Porter, Janet and Errol" , "Porter, Polly" , "Porter, Steve" , "Robert Porter" , , "Burns, John and Katie" , "Butler, Dan and Carol" Subject: Fw: Funny Kid Stories Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 11:13:38 -0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0039_01C0902D.DAE5DF80" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2615.200 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2615.200 ? ? ? IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE, JUST ASK THE KIDS ? ?A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue ?over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. ?"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can ?wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus. ? ?????? _________________ ? ? ?A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, ?grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. ?"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. ?The boy thought a moment and then said,? "Did God throw him back down?" ? ??? ____________________ ? ?After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you ?some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're ?one of the poorest preachers we've ever had." ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old ?daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," ?the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. ?The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people ?to dinner?" ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, ?the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. ?The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. ?"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"... ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as ?he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it ?closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, ?look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. ?With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!" ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. ?Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.? Finally, his big sister had enough. ?"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. ?Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? ?They're hushers." ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to ?take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." ?His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he ?breathlessly informed his mother,"There were 2 boy kittens and? 2 girl kittens." ?"How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he ?replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe ?was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." ?He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only ?feet I got!." ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, ?"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the ?room asked, "How will that help?" ? ? ____________________ ? ? ?A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the ?groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. ?"What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is ?broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." ?