Message-ID: <1937813.1075858342146.JavaMail.evans@thyme>
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 07:55:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: robin.rodrigue@enron.com
To: becky.pitre@enron.com
Subject: Management Lessons
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<< > Lesson Number One
 >  *****************
 >   A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
 >  A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
 >  and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
 >  rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden,
 >  a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
 >
 >  Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,
 >  you must be sitting very, very high up.
 >
 >  Lesson Number Two
 >  *****************
 >   A turkey was chatting with a bull.
 >
 >  "I would love to be able to get to the top of that
 >  tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
 >
 >  "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
 >  droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
 >
 >  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
 >  it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
 >  branch of the tree.
 >
 >  The next day, after eating some more dung, he
 >  reached the second branch.
 >  Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly
 >  perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
 > who
 >  shot the turkey out of the tree.
 >
 >  Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the
 >  top, but it won't keep you there.
 >
 >  Lesson Number Three
 >  *******************
 >   When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
 >  to be Boss.
 > The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
 >  responses and functions."
 >
 >  The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about  and
 >  get him to where he wants to go."
 >
 >  The hands said, "We should be the  Boss because we do all the work
 >  and earn all the money."
 >
 >  And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs
 >  and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed
 >  at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on
 >  strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the
 > eyes
 >  became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and
 >  lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided
 > that
 >  the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
 >  parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
 >
 >  Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a
 >  Boss - any asshole will do.
 >
 >  Lesson Number Four
 >  ******************
 >   A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
 >  was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
 > While
 >  it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the
 >  frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how
 > warm
 >  it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
 >  happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
 >  singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
 >  the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate
 >  him!
 >
 >                          Management Lessons:
 >
 >           1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is
 >  your enemy.
 >           2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is
 >  your friend.
 >           3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your
 >  mouth shut! >>