Message-ID: <8665011.1075862642686.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 09:03:32 -0800 (PST) From: jennifer.p.kong@dynegy.com To: eric.saibi@enron.com Subject: Re: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Jennifer.P.Kong@dynegy.com@ENRON X-To: Saibi, Eric X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ESAIBI (Non-Privileged)\Saibi, Eric\Inbox X-Origin: Saibi-E X-FileName: ESAIBI (Non-Privileged).pst Eric, I just want you to know what I feel now, whether or not it matters. Never before have I felt more regret for anything I've done as I have about breaking up with you, and then engaging in a relationship that has made you not think highly of me anymore. I believe that the questions that you ask me and the reaction that you have are all justified and fair and reasonable. I wish I could take it all back or forget about it, but of course that won't happen. I have no excuses. If I were you, I wouldn't like me either. One of the things that I really like about you is how well you know yourself and how consistently your actions are in-line with your beliefs. I have always had a problem with who I think I should be. This is one of the problems I mentioned as needing to be resolved. I don't know how to resolve this problem or whether or not it will ever be resolved, but am aware that I have this problem. I guess periodically throughout my life so far, when I think things aren't working, I will try to be a different person. I don't know. I can't really explain it because I don't understand it. I always try to be a good person, but as you said, how I act is a reflection of who I am. In that light, what I've done to you, undermining your trust in me, shows that I'm not a very good person. This is what I regret most about this whole situation, the fact that I have lost your trust. Unfortunately, as I realize in hindsight, there are so many things about you that I love, that I value so highly, that so many times over outweigh the things about you that I would complain about before. Your trust, patience, kindness, realism, strong sense of self, intelligence, objectiveness, values, appreciation of me, care for things that were yours, the care with which you would eat are all things that I miss so much and hate myself for causing the loss of. Anyway, thanks for being a forgiving enough person to still talk to me. Jennifer