Message-ID: <17715159.1075840024474.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2002 13:48:02 -0800 (PST) From: diana.scholtes@enron.com To: jhughes@sppc.com Subject: FW: Dear Mr. Abby Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Scholtes, Diana X-To: 'JHUGHES@SPPC.COM' X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Scholtes, Diana\Sent Items X-Origin: SCHOLTES-D X-FileName: -----Original Message----- From: William Scholtes [mailto:premierpumpcompany@attbi.com] Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 9:18 AM To: Scholtes, Diana Subject: Fw: Dear Mr. Abby From the desk of Bill Scholtes Premier Pump Company > Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby were > a man? > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband wants a threesome with me and my best > friend. > A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! > Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only > settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far > from being an issue, this can bring you closer > together. Why not get some of your old college > roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, > maybe you should let him be with your friends without > you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral > on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about > it. > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex > on him. > A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a > great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know > this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on > him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The > best thing to do is to thank him by performing it > twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal. > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. > A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be > encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove > his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young > single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a > more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can > rekindle your relationship better than the man being > away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the > house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is > when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to > do when he gets home is for you and your best friend > to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal. > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. > A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If > you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask > your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape > yourself while doing this, and present it to your > husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish > guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a > delicious meal. > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. > A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should > seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is > very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be > available to your husband on demand with no pesky > requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do > not love your man as much as you should - he should > never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being > so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by > performing oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal. > > Dear Mr. Abby: > Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and > goes to sleep never giving me one. > A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps > you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal. > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Do You Yahoo!? > Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! > http://auctions.yahoo.com