Message-ID: <7940020.1075846781463.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 02:50:00 -0800 (PST) From: susan.scott@enron.com To: charliecoyote@compuserve.com Subject: Fw: RULES OF AIR Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Susan M Scott X-To: charliecoyote@compuserve.com X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Susan_Scott_Dec2000_June2001_2\Notes Folders\Discussion threads X-Origin: SCOTT-S X-FileName: sscott5.nsf Travis thought you'd get a kick out of this... ---------------------- Forwarded by Susan M Scott/HOU/ECT on 11/20/2000 10:48 AM --------------------------- Enron Capital & Trade Resources Corp. From: "Travis David Kelley" 11/02/2000 08:22 AM Please respond to "Travis David Kelley" To: cc: Subject: Fw: RULES OF AIR Forward this to your dad please. I lost his address. Gracias. ----- Original Message ----- From: Michelle Eppright To: KATHY & TRAVIS KELLEY Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2000 11:23 AM Subject: RULES OF AIR > YOU'VE GOT TO FORWARD THIS TO YOUR DAD!! > : > > > > > > Subject: Rules of Air > > > > This appeared in the current issue of Australian Aviation Magazine (June > > 2000?) > > > > 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. > > 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the > > stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick > all > > the way back, then they get bigger again. > > 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. > > 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up > > there > > wishing you were down here. > > 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. > > 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the > > pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start > sweating. > > 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with > > the > > sky. > > 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing > > is > > one after which they can use the plane again. > > 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make > all > > of them yourself. > > 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to > taxi > > to the ramp. > > 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of > > arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice > > versa. > > 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five > > minutes earlier. > > 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about > might > > be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also > > report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. > > 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number > > of > > take-offs you've made. > > 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. > Unfortunately > > no one knows what they are. > > 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The > > trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. > > 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. > > 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and > > round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger > > compartment, things are not at all as they should be. > > 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds > of > > miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has > yet > > to lose. > > 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience > > usually comes from bad judgment. > > 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much > as > > possible. > > 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. > > 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not > > subject to repeal. > > 24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, > > runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago > > ----------------------------- > > > > Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force > pilots > > and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings > > that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next > > flight. > > > > (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION > > > > (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement > > (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire > > > > (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough, > > (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft > > > > (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid, > > (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4propellers lack normal > > seepage > > > > (P) Something loose in cockpit > > (S) Something tightened in cockpit > > > > (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear > > (S) Evidence removed > > > > (P) DME volume unbelievably loud > > (S) Volume set to more believable level > > > > (P) Dead bugs on windshield > > (S) Live bugs on order > > > > (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a200 fpm descent > > (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground > > > > (P) IFF inoperative > > (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode > > > > (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick > > (S) That's what they're there for > > > > (P) Number three engine missing > > (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search > > > > (P) Aircraft handles funny > > (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "flyright" and be serious > > > > (P) Target Radar hums > > (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words > > > > > > > >