Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: Fwd: FW: Y'allbonics]
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Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2000 06:52:00 -0800 (PST)

? 

? Note: forwarded message attached. 

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Here's some great verbage for our new "Southern-concept" restaurant! ? 

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Subject: FW: Y'allbonics
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Subject: Y'allbonics

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating
Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern
schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - (noun) Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire
yew?"
BARD - (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage "My brother
bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My
brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A
tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my
pickup truck, and Ah ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK - (verb) Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - (noun) An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage
"Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer
boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "Ah thank ah left my
ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few
munts ago."
ALL - (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "Ah sure hope my brother
from
Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change
the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, Ah hope that brother of mine from
Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't
rise, Ah sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - (verb) To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - (noun) Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin'

to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
FARN - (adjective) Not domestic. Usage "Ah cuddint unnerstand a wurd he
sed... must be from some farn country."
DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."
ARE - (noun) A colorless, odorless gas- Oxygen. Usage "He cain't
breathe..give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR - (non) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that
bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother
from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't
thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "Ah ain't never seed New York
City... 'view?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys
shore
is ignert."