Message-ID: <17633548.1075858922912.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2001 13:09:21 -0700 (PDT) From: m..scott@enron.com To: matt.motley@enron.com Subject: FW: Fw: Warning - alcohol Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Scott, Susan M. X-To: Motley, Matt X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \SSCOTT5 (Non-Privileged)\Scott, Susan M.\Sent Items X-Origin: Scott-S X-FileName: SSCOTT5 (Non-Privileged).pst Date: 6/20/01 7:41 AM RE: Fwd: Fw: Warning - alcohol Alcohol warnings.... > > Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers > have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be > placed immediately on all beer containers: > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the > hell happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several > people?!) > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are > whispering when you are not. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a > retard. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends > over and over again that you love them. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that > ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the > morning. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically > converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical > Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the > morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you > can't remember). > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable > rug burns on the forehead. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you > are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are > invisible. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are > laughing WITH you. > > WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the > time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time > may seem to literally disappear. >>