Message-ID: <18993300.1075857528078.JavaMail.evans@thyme>
Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 05:53:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: jeffrey.shankman@enron.com
To: lschiffm@jonesday.com
Subject: the Jewish Parrot
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here's a good one.
---------------------- Forwarded by Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT on 10/17/2000 
12:57 PM ---------------------------


Daniel Reck
10/16/2000 06:06 PM
To: Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT@ECT, Kevin Liss/Corp/Enron@ENRON, 
ediamo@coair.com
cc:  
Subject: the Jewish Parrot

I usually delete jokes, but this one is pretty funny:




The Jewish Parrot
>
> Sherman, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one
> day wishing something wonderful would happen into his life, when he
> passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in
> Yiddish:
>
> "Quawwwwk ... vus macht du ... Yeah, du ... outside, standing like a
> putzel ... eh?"
>
> Sherman rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. The proprietor
> sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in
> here, fella, and check out this parrot!"
>
> Sherman stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head
> and said: "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?"
>
> Sherman said to the parrot, "You speak Yiddish?"
>
> The parrot replied, "Vuh den? Chinese maybe?"
>
> In a matter of moments, Sherman had placed five hundred dollars down
> on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him.  All
> night he talked with the parrot.  In Yiddish.  He told the parrot
> about his father's adventures coming to America.  About how beautiful
> his mother was when she was a young bride.  About his family About
> his years of working in the garment center.   About Florida.
>
> The parrot listened and commented. They shared some walnuts. The
> parrot told him of living in the pet store, how he hated the
> weekends.  They both went to sleep.
>
> Next morning, Sherman began to put on his tfillin all the while,
> saying his prayers.  The parrot demanded to know what he was doing
> and when Sherman explained, the parrot wanted some too.  Sherman went
> out and hand-made a miniature set of tfillin for the parrot.
>
> The parrot wanted to learn to daven, and learned every prayer. He
> wanted to learn to read Hebrew so Sherman spent weeks and months,
> sitting and teaching the parrot, teaching him Torah.
>
> One morning, on Rosh Hashana, Sherman rose and got dressed and was
> about to leave when the parrot demanded to go with him.  Sherman
> explained that Shul was no place for a bird but the parrot made a
> terrific argument and was carried to Shul on Sherman's shoulder.
>
> Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and Sherman was
> questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi and Cantor.  They refused
> to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days but Sherman
> convinced them to let him in this one time, swearing that parrot
> could daven.
>
> Wagers were made with Sherman. Thousands of dollars were bet (even
> odds) that the parrot could NOT daven, could not speak Yiddish or
> Hebrew, etc.
>
> All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched
> on Sherman's shoulder as one prayer and song passed - Sherman heard
> not a peep from the bird.  He began to become annoyed, slapping at
> his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Daven!"
>
> Nothing.
>
> "Daven ... parrot, you can daven, so daven ... come on, everybody's
> looking at you!"
>
> Nothing.
>
> After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded,  Sherman found that he
> owed his Shul buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars.  He
> marched home, upset as hell, saying nothing.  Finally several blocks
> from the Temple the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song and was
> happy as a lark.  Sherman stopped and looked at him.
>
> "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why?
> After I made your tfillin and taught you the morning prayers, and
> taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah.  And after you begged me to
> bring you to Shul on Rosh Hashana, why?  Why did you do this to me?"
>
> "Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds on Yom
Kippur!"
>