Message-ID: <15444303.1075857539030.JavaMail.evans@thyme>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 06:01:00 -0800 (PST)
From: jeffrey.shankman@enron.com
To: daniel.reck@enron.com
Subject: The final word
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X-From: Jeffrey A Shankman
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here's a funny one....Jeff
---------------------- Forwarded by Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT on 12/15/2000 
02:03 PM ---------------------------


Richard Shapiro@ENRON
12/15/2000 01:36 PM
To: James D Steffes/NA/Enron@Enron, Jeff Dasovich/NA/Enron@Enron, Steven J 
Kean/NA/Enron@Enron, Mark Palmer/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Robert 
Frank/NA/Enron@Enron, Susan M Landwehr/NA/Enron@Enron, Steve 
Walton/HOU/ECT@ECT, Leslie Lawner/NA/Enron@Enron, Jose 
Bestard/ENRON_DEVELOPMENT@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT, Jeffrey A Shankman/HOU/ECT@ECT, 
Lisa Yoho/NA/Enron@Enron, Tom Briggs/NA/Enron@Enron, Karen 
Denne/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Cindy Derecskey/Corp/Enron@Enron, Ginger 
Dernehl/NA/Enron@Enron, Maureen McVicker/NA/Enron@Enron
cc:  
Subject: The final word

Jim- I do have faith.

 BREAKING NEWS!
>
>  GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
> Bush to be smitten later today
>
> (Vatican) In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one
> nation,
> under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule Tuesday night's
> Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.
>  "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on
a
> rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back
and
> let
> Bush get away with this nonsense." "I've watched analysts argue for weeks
> now
> that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God
> and I
> DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won
Florida
> by
> exactly 20,219 votes."
>
> Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
overrules
> the
> official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him
a
> 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible
> grounds
> for appeal.
>
>  "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist
Jim
> Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is
> unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of
> Florida."
>
> "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of
> him,
> let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." God, who provided the
> exact
> vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting
> machinery
> and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin'
> idiot." "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan.
Get
> real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them:
> Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
>
> Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's
> prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In
an
> act
> of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of
> Bush's
> goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his
> family
> into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in
a
> salt
> mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
>
> Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
>                                    -30-
>
>