Message-ID: <860025.1075845337323.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Wed, 16 May 2001 05:49:51 -0700 (PDT) From: gareth.davies@enron.com To: bart.lyon@enron.com, matthew.collier@enron.com, matt.smith@enron.com, anne-marie.stringer@enron.com, nick.thomas@enron.com, ian.green@enron.com, james.spalding@enron.com, julie.francis@enron.com Subject: Fwd: FW: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: Davies, Gareth X-To: Lyon, Bart , Collier, Matthew , Smith, Matt , Stringer, Anne-Marie , Thomas, Nick , Green, Ian , Spalding, James , Francis, Julie , PhilAndersonUK@aol.com, acollins@smi-online.co.uk, danielleandnick@netscapeonline.co.uk, aaamirza@yahoo.com, bezbud@hotmail.com, corrina_langelaan@hotmail.com X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \Smith, Matt\Smith, Matt\Inbox X-Origin: SMITH-M X-FileName: Smith, Matt.pst ---------------------- Forwarded by Gareth Davies/EU/Enron on 16/05/2001 13:47 --------------------------- "Martin Hurry" on 16/05/2001 13:14:03 To: andyprosser11@hotmail.com, anyawoo@hotmail.com, ffionhafd@aol.com, gareth.davies@enron.com, defjefmullen@hotmail.com, jon_cowley@hotmail.com, bates_julia@hotmail.com, eadrury@hotmail.com, marianne.oates@virgin.net, nickbrooke@hotmail.com, robgent@hotmail.com, Thomas.McCormick@student.shu.ac.uk cc: Subject: Fwd: FW: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes >From: "Paul Rainer" >To: alandresessine@yahoo.com, matthewclapcott@supanet.com, >martinhurry@hotmail.com, ollydip@aol.com, Pjalamos2001@aol.com, >rob_humphrey@marketforce.co.uk >Subject: Fwd: FW: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes >Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 17:41:37 +0100 > > > > > >From: Paul Rainer > >To: "'tallospaulos@hotmail.com'" > >Subject: FW: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes > >Date: Tue, 15 May 2001 11:30:08 -0000 > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: Neil Masters > > > Sent: 15 May 2001 09:39 > > > To: Paul Rainer > > > Subject: FW: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: Rob Coleman [SMTP:robs_vtr@hotmail.com] > > > Sent: 14 May 2001 17:24 > > > To: judith@asdem.co.uk; dtulett@taylorriley.co.uk; > > > NEMasters@Channel4.co.uk > > > Subject: Rude/Sexist Female Jokes > > > > > > You may or may not have seen these b4. > > > > > > Robbo (Sorry Jo!) > > > > > > >1/ Why did God create woman? > > > > To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. > > > > > > > > 2/ If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird > > > > of true love? > > > > The swallow > > > > > > > > 3/ How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? > > > > Phone her. > > > > > > > > 4/ Why do women fake orgasms? > > > > Because they think men care. > > > > > > > > 5/ What is the definition of "making love"? > > > > Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her. > > > > > > > > 6/ What should you do if your girlfriend starts > > > > smoking? > > > > Slow down and use a lubricant. > > > > > > > > 7/ What's the difference between oral sex and anal > > > > sex? > > > > Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak > > > > [whole week..!] > > > > > > > > 8/ How many sexists does it take to change a > > > > lightbulb? > > > > None, let the bitch cook in the dark. > > > > > > > > 9/ What's the difference between P.M.S. and B.S.E? > > > > One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural > > > > problem. > > > > > > > > 10/ Why does the bride always wear white? > > > > Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the > > > > stove and > > > > refrigerator. > > > > > > > > 11/ What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? > > > > Nothing, she's already been told twice. > > > > > > > > 12/ How many men does it take to open a beer? > > > > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it > > > > in. > > > > > > > > 13/ If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to > > > > nag at you, what > > > > have > > > > you done wrong? > > > > Made her chain too long. > > > > > > > > 14/ How do you turn a fox into an elephant? > > > > Marry it! > > > > > > > > 15/ What is the difference between a battery and a > > > > woman? > > > > A battery has a positive side. > > > > > > > > 16/ What are the three fastest means of communication? > > > > 1) Internet > > > > 2) Telephone > > > > 3) Telawoman > > > > > > > > 17/ Why do hunters make the best lovers? > > > > Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once > > > > and they eat > > > > what > > > > they shoot. > > > > > > > > 18/ How are fat girls and mopeds alike? > > > > They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. > > > > > > > > 19/ How is a woman like a condom? > > > > Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on > > > > your dick. > > > > > > > > 20/ What should you give a woman who has everything? > > > > A man to show her how to work it. > > > > > > > > 21/ How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike? > > > > They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and > > > > in the end you > > > > lose > > > > your house. > > > > > > > > 22/ Why does a bride smile when she walks up the > > > > aisle? > > > > She knows she's given her last blow job. > > > > > > > > 23/ What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? > > > > A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch > > > > sleeps with > > > > everyone > > > > at the party except you. > > > > > > > > 24/ What's the difference between your wife and your > > > > job? > > > > After 10 years the job still sucks. > > > > > > > > 25/ What's the difference between love, true love, and > > > > showing off? > > > > Spitting, swallowing, and gargling. > > > > > > > > 26/ Why is the space between a women's breasts and her > > > > hips called a > > > > waist? > > > > Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in > > > > there. > > > > > > > > 27/ Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? > > > > When you take it off you wonder where her tits went. > > > > > > > > 28/ How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? > > > > Put a nipple on it. > > > > > > > > 29/ Why did the woman cross the road? > > > > What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first > > > > place? > > > > > > > > 30/ Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? > > > > Because it doesn't need cleaning yet. > > > >--- End forwarded message --- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >_________________________________________________________________________ > > > Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at >http://www.hotmail.com. > > > > > > > >Any views or opinions are solely those of the author and do not >necessarily > >represent those of Channel Four Television Corporation unless >specifically > >stated. This email and any files transmitted are confidential and >intended > >solely for the use of the individual or entity to which they are >addressed. > >If you have received this email in error, please notify > >postmaster@channel4.co.uk > > > > > _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.