Message-ID: <15834884.1075852865480.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 12:27:56 -0700 (PDT) From: tti@rcnchicago.com To: houston <.ward@enron.com> Subject: Fw: : Fw: How to Dump........ Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: "PATRICIA TLAPEK" @ENRON X-To: Ward, Kim S (Houston) X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \KWARD (Non-Privileged)\Ward, Kim S (Houston)\Deleted Items X-Origin: Ward-K X-FileName: KWARD (Non-Privileged).pst ----- Original Message ----- From: "Houda, Cathy" To: ; Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2001 2:00 PM Subject: FW: : Fw: How to Dump........ > > HOW TO DUMP A MAN > > > > Dear ________, > > I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated > > from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are > > probably aware, the competition was exceedingly > > > >> >> >tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as > > > >> >> >yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, > > > >> >> >however, keep your name on file should an opening > > > >> >> >become available. So that you may find better > > > >> >> >success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow > > > >> >> >me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified > > > >> >> >from the competition. > > > > Check those that apply... > > > > ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't > > imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my > > children to it. > > > > ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not > > something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit > > of passion > > > >> >> > ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has > > > >> >> >left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a > > > >> >> >little tighter! > > > >> >> > > > > >> >> > ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms > > > >> >> >by the truckload" indicates that you may be > > > >> >> >interested in me for something other than my > > > >> >> >personality. > > > >> >> > > > > >> >> > ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked > > > >> >> >you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me > > > >> >> >more than one about myself. > > > >> >> > > > > >> >> > ___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO > > > >> >> >much time on your hands! > > > > > >> >> > ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. > > > > > >> >> > ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would > > > >> >> >inevitably be beaten up repeatedly! at recess. > > > > > >> >> > ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck > > > >> >> >condition from trying to kiss you. > > > >> >> > > > > >> >> > ___I find your inability to fix my car > > > >> >> >extraordinarily unappealing. > > > > > >> >> > ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned > > > >> >> >reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is > > > >> >> >unbreakable. > > > > ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too > > often in conversation. > > ___You still live with your parents. > > > > ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your > > wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting. > > > > ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend > > lead me to suspect that you are some sort of > > psychotic stalker. > > > > ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait > > that I am seeking in a long-term partner. > > > > ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. > > If you should however, happen to gain the necessary > > 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application. > > > > ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your > > overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip. > > > > ___I am out of your league, set your sights lowernext time. > > > > Sincerely, > > ______________________ > > > > Now, you must forward this to 4 FEMALES or you will > > have a HORRIBLE streak of bad love life. Not that I > > believe the above, mind you. I just think you > > should forward this to 4 women so they can laugh too. > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp >