Message-ID: <27399550.1075841973605.JavaMail.evans@thyme> Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2002 06:42:56 -0800 (PST) From: russellt@cottonrestorationinc.com To: w..white@enron.com, weldon.stayton@enron.com, charles.weldon@enron.com Subject: Fw: Economics clearly explained Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-From: "Russell White" @ENRON X-To: White, Stacey W. , Stayton Weldon , Weldon, V. Charles X-cc: X-bcc: X-Folder: \ExMerge - Weldon, V. Charles\Deleted Items X-Origin: WELDON-V X-FileName: v charles weldon 7-2-02.PST -----Original Message----- From: christopher whitenton To: Lamar White ; Russell White ; Allison D. Wiatrek ; skylar acock ; bruno ; Christopher ; jason fortin ; kenny haefner ; Gordon Liddy ; rex mayes ; MoFo ; gary nellis ; orlando Date: Friday, February 01, 2002 8:33 PM Subject: Economics clearly explained > > >Economics clearly explained? > >DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. >You feel guilty >for being successful. You vote people into office who >put a tax on your >cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay >the tax. The people you >voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give >it to your >neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings >for you. > >SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one >and gives it to >your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how >to manage his cow. > >REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. >So? > >COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes >both and provides you >with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is >expensive and >sour. > >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You >sell one, buy a bull, >and build a herd of cows. > >DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The >government taxes you to >the point you have to sell both to support a man in a >foreign country who >has only one cow, which was a gift from your >government. > >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The >government takes them >both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the >milk, then pours the >milk down the drain. > >AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, >lease it back to >yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 >cows to produce the >milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow >drops dead. You spin an >announcement to the analysts stating you have >downsized and are reducing >expenses. Your stock goes up. > >FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on >strike because you want >three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. > >JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign >them so they are >one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce >twenty times the >milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded >trains. Most are at >the top of their class at cow school. > >GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer >them so they are all >blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality >milk, and run a >hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand >13 weeks of >vacation per year. > >ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't >know where they are. >While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You >break for >lunch. Life is good. > >RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them >and learn you have >five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them >again and learn you >have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have >12 cows. You stop >counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You >produce your 10th, >5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up >and takes over however >many cows you really have. > >TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in >Afghanistan, which is two. >You don't milk them because you cannot touch any >creature's private >parts. > >POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are >regularly maimed and >killed attempting to milk them. > >FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown >cow. Everyone votes >for the best looking one. Some of the people who like >the brown one best >vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. >Some people vote for >neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at >all. >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you >which is the best >looking one. > >NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. >You have to choose >which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick >some fat cow from >Arkansas > > >__________________________________________________ >Do You Yahoo!? >Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! >http://auctions.yahoo.com >