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Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 01:21:00 -0800 (PST)
From: beth.cherry@enform.com
To: jason.wolfe@enron.com, kristen.oland@enform.com
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> Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business
> Sign?
>
> 1) MARKETING
> You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
> having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
> socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
> Least compatible with Sales.
>
> 2) SALES
> Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree."
> You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and
> begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers
> so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
> your golf game throughout your life.
>
> 3) TECHNOLOGY
> Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
> content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.
> Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can
> tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
>
> 4) ENGINEERING
> One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that
> engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy
> with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic"
> gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel
> syndrome."
>
> 5) ACCOUNTING
> The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from
> office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
> combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
> concerning you say that you are completely insane.
>
> 6) HUMAN RESOURCES
> Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to
> be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other
> person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any
> calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail
> a letter.
>
> 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
> Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain
> at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
> decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you
> can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers"
> as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
>
> 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT
> (See above - Same sign, different title)
>
> 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
> Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your
> own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little
> cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
> "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best
> bet is to sleep with your manager.
>
> 10) CONSULTANT
> Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your
> utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills"
> are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other
> organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating
> these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.
>
> 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
> As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who
> actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and
> susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks
> correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.
>
> 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
> You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems
> such as the fax machine suggest the latter.
>
> 13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
> Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the
> invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or
> anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the
> term "GO POSTAL"
>
>
>